Tuesday, November 23, 2010

'let's try to forget...'

the drama at work continues. the shadowy figure of past entries turned out to be undermining me in bigger and worse ways than i had previously thought and actually almost managed to get me fired some time back merely for being negative. the irony of this is that my manager (who i butt heads with all the time and complain about endlessly) was my only defender in this case and managed to convince the power that would be (who i've never trusted and have had a lot of misgivings about since he took over) that i didn't deserve to be fired for being negative since he said that he's never seen me get even remotely irate with a single customer in the nearly three years i've been working there (which is actually completely true). i probably shouldn't've found out about this, but i'm glad that i did because now i know who i can trust and who i can't. the silver lining is also that i've seen how fiercely loyal my true friends are- something i have a tendency to forget and overlook. i'm always surprised at how loyal people are to me and i find it very humbling and heartening. for as shitty as some people can be for no reason (not sure who i mean in this particular situation) others will respond in the best of ways. it's reassuring to know that people care. one of my greatest downfalls is that i forget this constantly in my narcissism. i'd suppose one of my strengths is that, despite my self-absorption, i am able to recognize positive things in others. i have a tendency to think the worst of people and the opposite is true more often than not.
i'm trying to put a more positive pro-active spin on this year. our cat robin is becoming one of my heroes- he is getting better and better behaved about his sub-q treatments and seems to show an amazing ability and understanding of the situation. he doesn't even seem to hold it against us for doing these treatments and seems to understand that they are making him feel healthy and he is probably healthier now than he's been for quite some time. i hope this trend continues, but i suspect that it should as with all of the sites that we've been reading about cats with crf it seems that they are often smart enough to grasp that the treatments do them good and are capable of relaxing during their treatments despite the fact that they are uncomfortable. it also appears that it's not going to be as expensive as we'd previously thought. i hope he hangs on for years and not months.
on the show-obtaining front i'm going to try to keep up hope. i'm also going to start working on more music to hopefully sell as stock music for films, tv, video games, etc. i've been reading up on that stuff and i think it's finally time for me to get going on giving this a fair shake. what could it hurt and maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. why not give it a shot?

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