diary 7.22.09- draw the curtains

1. sleepy silver door- dead meadow (dead meadow)
2. bloodhounds on my trail- the black angels (passover)
3. these blues- spacemen 3 (tones for djs)
4. o katrina- the black lips (good bad not evil)
5. lose your mind- the seeds (the seeds)
6. add one to the other one- darker my love (2)
7. all a dreams- the telescopes (celeste single)
8. the thief- jessica bailiff (jessica bailiff)
9. blanchard- hope sandoval & the warm inventions (through the devil softly)
10. heaven says so- the warlocks (b-sides)
11. love can destroy everything- the raveonettes (2009 bootleg recorded in l.a.)
12. o relogio- os mutantes (os mutantes)
13. hazel st.- deerhunter (cryptograms)
14. swallow- my bloody valentine (tremolo)
15. codeine- spiritualized (1990 bootleg recorded in london)
16. your protector- fleet foxes (fleet foxes)
17. superstar- nina nastasia (run to ruin)
18. cigarettes and coffee- otis redding (the best of otis redding)

help is on the way

i realised that my next paycheck is going to help me be able to pay for a ton of stuff that i need. i'd also somehow forgotten about how i'm working two six day weeks and that that means i'll have some extra money before we leave for kansas city. we also picked up three nights of housesitting for jay and diana as well which i figure will go toward some fun money while we're home. i've got about half of the cost of the rental car saved at the moment. i don't have to play catch up next week either, so it can go straight into the saving envelope- that's usually what trips me up. it's a light bill period- always nice. i might even be able to afford to buy myself some new shoes- something that's been overdue for quite some time and mandatory before i arrive in kc. i could probably use another pair of jeans pretty soon.
other than that i'm trying to lay low again today- i stayed home all day yesterday doing mix-downs. today i don't have any to do, so i'm just going to try and watch some movies. i've been so excruciatingly bored lately and i can't quite figure out how or why this is- it could be because i'm running out of things to record and work on. i also remembered that i used to watch a ton of movies whenever i was home for the day- so it's possible that that would help a bit. i dunno though...
i'm also going through a fun phase where embarrassing and humiliating memories are beginning to come to me in unpredictable and frequent waves. i don't know if this has happened to many people, but i go through periods where this happens to me multiple times daily and it's not particularly fun- basically the memories come back to me suddenly and the feelings rush back as if they were brand new. it's not a very fun way to be. i've got to say that i could live without it- feeling embarrassed and humiliated is just enough right at the particular time that it happened- there's no need for lingering crappola. some of these memories are from when i was very very little- like still in the single digits. i am my own worst enemy. as always.

it snuck up on me

i'm not sure how this happened, but my little seasonal affective disorder type thing has snuck up on me. the last week was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. i saw nina nastasia at the hideout twice and both nights were fantastic- the 2nd night was in a world of its own though- hands-down the best time i've ever seen her play. the 2nd night she played 'superstar' and 'late night' (with a cellist, violist and violinist). it left me feeling really weird and emotional- i actually walked up to her and said that it was really amazing and then i just kind of scurried away. i felt really strange and i've been going over it again and again in my head probably more than i should be- it really wasn't a big deal, but for some reason i'm very embarrassed that i said anything at all- i didn't say anything weird- i think i said less than five words... i just feel like i walk around with 'weirdo' tattooed on my forehead and sometimes this bugs me...
other than that i was up and down a lot at work. i couldn't quite get to an equilibrium type place. the most annoying thing about my inability to talk to people like a normal person is that when i'm at work i can be really sociable and even witty and funny, but then when i'm out on my own i just can't say a damned thing. i just feel so incredibly awkward. at the last three or so social events we've been to i've had to leave early just because i feel so out of sorts. i feel so out of sorts anywhere i go and i think that people pick up on it and they judge me. i feel very judged a lot of the time. in that regard i like the people that i work with because i feel pretty comfortable around them- i guess i should feel grateful for that.
i haven't felt awkward in my own skin for a while- i actually thought that i'd gotten to a point where i felt fairly comfortable pretty much anywhere i was.
i guess i was a bit sensitive because i've gotten a few more mixes for 'all hope is blind' burned to cd and in my ipod and i took the train to work on wednesday morning with the sole intent of listening to the mixes and seeing if they were okay. a handful of them are great and i'd say are good final mixes- the other handful were a bit muddy and for some reason i just felt like the whole thing was a failure. i have no idea why this was- it just seemed to me that i wasn't as good as i'd thought it was. i don't know why this is but it, of course, made me wonder whether or not i should even bother putting it out at all... i just remember listening to it a few months ago and being completely blown away by how great it was and i just really didn't have that experience at all this time. i suppose it could have to do with my mental state at the moment...
well, this is quite the waste of space here, so i'm going to close it up right now...

why am i always so late for the party?

why am i just getting into dead meadow right now? i guess this means they are poised for a meteoric rise because that seems to be what happens whenever i get into a band- i get to see them once in a small place and then they take off and i can't see them for less than $50 (which i am rarely willing to do- there are exceptions). i've had people tell me that this just means that i'm always ahead of the pack. i'd say it puts me in the middle of the pack- i'd rather be a bit further ahead. again, exceptions- the vivian girls still seem to be relatively obscure in a sense. i'm planning on going to see grizzly bear in september because i'm pretty their next chicago stops are going to be at places like the vic or the riv or maybe even the fucking aragon. urgh.
i just remember seeing a vinyl copy of 'feathers' at the reckless on broadway back a few years ago that i always wanted to buy, but never got around to it. why is this? who knows. so i could get around to getting their stuff now- way late. it's the same with jessica bailiff. why didn't i just go out and try and get ahold of her stuff right when we were first compared to her? it don't make sense.
while i was listening to jessica bailiff yesterday (i absolutely love her stuff- not much of a surprise considering the similarities- dense droney stuff with sighing vocals mixed at an ambient level and also still slow beautiful songs) it became apparent to me that that is pretty much the most that shalloboi can hope for in terms of success- basically we don't have that much further to go. i am not sure if this is a good thing or not. the reason more people aren't into her music is because it's slow and beautiful and, quite simply, no one has time for that slow beautiful crap any more. probably never did. if something isn't uptempo, perky and catchy then it's not going to get on most people's radar. even watching grizzly bear at pitchfork i was thinking that it's kind of a phenomenon that they are where they are right now- i guess it can be chalked up to catchy, bouncy singles- people talk like crazy during the slow, fractured beautiful stuff. this was confirmed when i read some pitchfork report claiming they were 'boring' live.
this isn't necessarily a rant per se. it's just the way things are- for some reason i think that that's just fine. don't ask me why...
i think that depending on how many college shows we are able to procure i might even try to tack on a uk leg of a tour when we go to the east coast. pipe dreams i know, but i'm at the end of my rope here. if we're ever going to get anywhere we are going to have to do it on our own. if we're ever going to tour in europe we are going to have to get there on our own. no one's going to do it for us. no one's going to do anything for us- all i can do is buck up, realise that, quite whining about it and just do my best. we don't have that much in the way of 'commercial potential'- if we did we would be in a different place at this point, i'm quite certain of this- so it's best to get on with it and do our thing. next year is the year of the touring. i hope it works out. i shall MAKE it work out dammit! once august hits i think it's time to start sending out college fliers and stuff again- go ahead and get that going as early as possible. the idea is that if we get enough college shows to justify it then i'd like to look into the possibility of flying to the uk and playing shows as well as doing possibly paris and amsterdam or something like that.
i'd really like to figure it out and give it a go. if we can pull it off it would be quite the coup. plus if i'm going to go to all of the trouble to get this whole sole proprietor thing going then i might as well do my best to make it work. now is the time! look who's so gung ho all of a sudden!

the ice forms in sheets, they're melting in the streets...

i'm at metropolis. another weekend has arrived. not real sure what to do with it- but i'm glad that it's here. the weeks have been going by at about mach 11. i can't keep them straight to be perfectly honest. next week is when the insanity starts too- two nina nastasia shows on sunday and monday night, then the week after that is the first of my two six-day workweeks which will bleed right into the week of pure show-going insanity- four shows in a row- all of them late shows, three of them on nights when i have to work the next day. that week will be a six-day workweek as well. i will be a basket case by the end of it, but i will be a basket case who's seen a ton of great music.
i've finished my little summer mix thingy that i wanted to do, at last. it took forever. it's pretty sad-bastardy. i'm listening to it right now before i do some artwork and upload it.
i don't really have any idea what to do with myself these days- i can't really get to serious work on anything- i've got the string players coming to record seperately and after they are done with their parts i can finally load some mixes into my ipod and listen to them and then begin to pick out the ones that will work. i guess i could do some more work on the christmas single. similarly there's only so much i can do with that one. i think i was going to have another crack at the guitar and try doing it bowed. for some reason that's important to me to try again- i guess i also feel like it worked a bit better than the way it is right now- plus any excuse to use the bow on a song live these days is a good one considering that i haven't attempted it in a really long time.
i think i'm done with this entry- it's officially going nowhere.

something strange is going on...

i feel really good today. i'm not real sure why- almost 12 hours of sleep maybe? not sure...
they are streaming sets from pitchfork festival live as well- might watch yo la tengo tonight. mebbe... i guess it depends on whether or not stefanie wants to. i wish i had the connector to hook the laptop up to the tv because i have one to hook it up to the stereo. that'd be kind of neat- we could just watch it on our tv. i have the connector that works for the old laptop, but the internet isn't as reliable on that one- the new one is much faster and better. the fact that they're streaming sets again also means that we can watch the black lips play tomorrow night from the comfort of our own home. i do wish that we could be there in person, but i simply don't have another $40 lying around and i'd rather wait until they come back through on tour and see them then.
it's very odd that i'm in such a good mood today mainly because i don't really have anything to do today. i'm not sure what i'm going to do with the rest of this day. i bought the second darker my love album yesterday (i don't know why it took me so long to finally plunk down the money for it) and i think i might spend the time converting it because it's so fantastic and i can't wait to put it on my ipod and listen to it. there's nothing in the world like great sounding vinyl. nothing. sweet!
i also have realised that it's time to go about properly calibrating my tape machine (and cleaning the tape heads- which i should've done before mixing the 'dandelions' ep). i guess i was a bit naive in the way that i did the final mix for 'dandelions' but, when i did the mixdown it sounded so great i figured everything was fine. it wasn't until the mastered version came back that i realised i should probably take the time to get it done properly.
i'm also going to attempt to register shalloboi/endless december recordings as a sole proprietorship- i need $50 for the initial forms. after that i need to publish a notice of legal action in the reader (don't know how much that will cost), then i need to register with the irs and then finally get a permit to run a business from home (that one's a doozy- at least $150 unless the price has gone up, which i wouldn't be surprised if it hasn't). i find it very distressing how much the city charges for any and all kinds of permits (and there is one or several for any number of things- for example the permit for beans and bagels to have patio seating is $600- an additional $250 if we want the additional permit to allow people to have their dogs with them in the patio area). they have quite the racket going and are still coming out short in every budget they draft. the cta's dangling another 'doomsday list' over everyone. they just raised the fares last year. it's gone up 50 cents since we moved here.
so, in short, i continue to have monetary woes. i have been reading up on film scoring and how to get such jobs and i actually have something of the beginnings of a game plan- i am pretty much ready to get started scoring adam's film. i have two recording sessions left to do with the string players and then i'll be pretty much good to go. if i enjoy scoring the film, i'm going to go down to columbia and post my info on the film department bulletin board in the hopes that someone will see it and then hopefully i can get some more experience with the whole scoring thing. as far as making it a money-making kind of venture, i'm going to start looking for actual scoring jobs once i have some experience doing it a few times. i'm actually pretty excited about it- i think it's going to be good. i'm optimistic i guess i should say.
we also have a few shows coming up- and hopefully more on the way. i've asked schuba's for a specific date, as well as the empty bottle. i'm hoping they work out. the one i asked for at the empty bottle is a slot opening for sian alice group in october- i really really am pulling for that one. pleasepleasepleaseplease... i am also still hoping that the free monday night show at the bottle with soft speaker works out. that'd be nice.
i am listening to craploads of fleet foxes right now. for some reason watching a stream of their pitchfork set really started something. i think i'm going to buy the vinyl of that latest album soon because it includes an ep that they released. at pitchfork they also have a full sian alice group set posted to stream that sounds really nice. good stuff! keep it coming please, good folks. i think with that i'm done.

today should be the day

well, hopefully. i have my new screen and a fresh bottle of photo emulsion, so i'm hoping that this is the day that i am finally able to create a new screen to finish the 'dandelions' packages that i have in my possession so far (about 20). then i can start mailing them out for review. i tried sending out digital downloads and that hasn't seemed to have yielded the best results. i can't say i'm too surprised about that.
we did finally secure a show at the record bar in august. i haven't heard boo from my string players in ages, though. i'm starting to feel like i'm kind of annoying them. that's usually the case, though and it usually doesn't turn out to be true. it usually just turns out that people are living their own lives (that's quite a concept, tyler).
i do think that when i go home i am going to force myself to do some work- i would like to rerecord a guitar part for the new version of 'christmas song' and i could do the 6-string bass parts for that song as well so that they're all finished.
otherwise it's going to be quite a busy night tonight- we're having dinner with my sister at piece for her birthday and then we're going to see a show at the metro. i am going to be a fucking zombie at work tomorrow. sometimes i go in with only 5 hours of sleep and i feel fine. i think if i just do it once in a while it's fine. however i will be a complete zombie during the week of lollapalooza- i'm going to four shows in a row. august 6th and 7th we're seeing the warlocks twice, the 8th we're seeing the raveonettes (all three nights are at the empty bottle) and then the 9th i am, indeed, seeing deerhunter at logan square auditorium. that night is going to be a complete washout as far as sleep is concerned. i finally bought my tickets to that show after i sold a bunch of cds at reckless records. i think i might try to sell some more cds at the wicker park location tonight as there are a handful that they didn't take- mostly cure cds. bummer. i've started a new campaign to sell off cds that i have on vinyl. especially the old early cds- usually if it's pre-1992 the mastering job doesn't hold up so since i've been trying to get more of my favourite records on vinyl, i might as well continue this trend and phase out my cds. i am a bit hesitant to get rid of cds that i know are stefanie's. i also still have a cd of 'loveless' for some reason.
i think that i might be entering some kind of bizarre tyler happy world at the moment. so far i've been enjoying this summer quite a bit (minus that one week where it was sheer humidity-induced misery). yeah, it's been grey and rainy through a good chunk of it. i'm kind of glad. it almost makes me feel like someone or something up in that giant indifferent fairy-land is taking some pity on me for some reason. how could i not appreciate it? this is kind of typical of how things work when i'm having a good 'up' period- everyone around me has their bad 'down' period. this used to always be true during high school- whenever i was having an extended period of time where i was content and happy with how things were going it always seemed to be at the expense of all of my friends- they'd all be going through all of their trying, depressing times. so it kind of makes me feel guilty when i'm going through a good period. this summer is definitely a case of this. i know that people are really bummed that there's been so much rain, but quite frankly i would love it if it went on like this all fucking summer! of course it isn't- expecting it to be like it is today every day is just as unrealistic as expecting every summer day to be 80 degrees with low humidity and a nice breeze (well unless you live in san francisco then it's pretty reliable).
i also didn't think i'd be able to get a screen made today because the forecast called for it to be 89 degrees and humid, which are really bad conditions for burning a screen- it's so hot and muggy it takes it forever to dry and once it does it's full of bubbles and sometimes isn't a very good coating. but right now these are the ideal conditions. it'd also be a good day to record a guitar part because for some reason the mixer i use to run all five mics into that i then run into the 8-track for some reason has a lot of problems working when it's really hot and humid- the inputs go dead, so the mics are constantly cutting out and i get very pissed because i can't get a decent take laid down because the inputs cutting in and out. it only does that when it's excessively hot and humid. as if that weren't enough i have to close the windows and turn off the fans so i have sweat pouring off of me in dense rivers.
i think that might be all that i can say for today.

not so much to report, sadly

but i'm sure this will be another grand, rambling entry.
finished the last piece of the puzzle for the next record- at least as it stands in its current tracklisting. it's possible that the thing might be mixed too- i did a ton of variable mixes and they are all sounding really nice. nice and rough. stefanie did her last vocal and it was a first take and sounds very vulnerable. she's hell-bent on getting me to let her redo it. she even threatened to rerecord it herself. i ended up hiding the tape. i'm convinced that we must keep it- a coin-toss even confirmed it. i think she's just not comfortable with how vulnerable and nervy she sounds on it, but she never wavers. i like the melody she came up with- especially on the chorus because it was completely different to the one i'd done as a scratch vocal on that track (sadly we had to record the glockenspiel part over it). it's a nice little song- just barely over three minutes and it's one of two lead-ups to the end of the record. the other one being '4am train' which stefanie also did in one take and has begged me to let her redo. so that's it. i've got a cdr that's almost full of fresh mixes. i think i'm going to try and get one more song to fit on it (kind of a close call, really) and then i'll have a huge heap of stuff to go through and i'll be able to listen to the album as it exists at the moment. the plan is still to finish the other five or six extra tracks. i might even get started on a few stragglers that i think might be worth giving a shot as well. i'm having trouble getting the stringies together to finish a few more tracks- one more session with chris and katelyn would yield two more finished tracks and a third would be within easy reach as well... my own hurdle is to do a piano part that still needs to be done. tonight hopefully (i just need to be bold and go do it while no one's in the rehearsal room).
last night we went to bite for sam's husband ben's birthday party. it was a surprise! sweet! we took mass transit to the empty bottle for the first time ever. red line to chicago, chicago bus to western, walk north two blocks. it actually worked. it took about an hour and fifteen minutes in rush-hour but that's okay. i think on the way back it only took an hour. here's hoping it works as well at 2am (kinda doubtful). i met a bunch of people from kansas city and stefanie and i ended up talking to them the most. nice people. one of them comes into beans all the time and i'd already met him before. naturally i can't remember his name for shit. i think i even forgot his brother's name too already... crap. but it was a very fun night. i also figured out a solution for my money troubles at the moment- it's a relatively simple one. if you need more of the money that you would normally pay right to the credit cards, then just don't pay as much that month. there's so much going on right now that i just feel like it's a necessity. i'd like to think that i'll be able to make up the difference with my tips, but that's kind of a pipe dream.
we were offered a show at the record bar on august 19th. i really want to take it. i am still hoping we can get something together at the tap room as well the night after that. two shows would be awesome and i am convinced would make it a worthwhile trip- it would certainly cut down on the expense. what's more we'd get a nice relaxing trip to kc together for a change. i'm still looking to megabus it at some point in october sometime. the fares haven't been made available yet, but when they are i am pondering going back for a brief trip. i might do the completely sleep-deprived version. we shall see. also we are flying to portland over halloween weekend. the tickets are bought. the 29th- the 2nd of november. it's a lot of shifts to get covered when you look at it, but not really so much when it's going to be so spread out. christmas time is always the most difficult to get covered, but it seems to be doable (at least in a sense). it's not as busy once people start to leave town. it's nice to know exactly what it's going to cost us- just $100. as long as we act quickly enough. i'm also looking forward to not flying to kc. i don't know why, but anymore flying such a short distance seems to be more trouble than it's worth. in the case of portland it's a necessary evil. i'm a bit worried about it, but i'm going to try and not obsess about it so much. i might pop a bunch of pills before i get on the plane. i mean honestly, what's the point? i have a few long videos on my ipod as well- one is a spiritualized live set that's an hour and a half long. i think that would be worth watching on the plane. maybe twice. who knows...

rest in... well, nevermind...

sometimes i think that being successful in the music business (or 'making it' as it were) really just means that someone thinks that what you do is worthwhile enough to make a shitload of money for themselves with by screwing you out of your own creation and art. to whit- allen klein died today- http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/culture/neilmccormick/100001174/allen-klein-bittersweet-symphony/. remember kids- never buy those $18.99 rolling stones cds- especially if they have ABKCO on the back of them (i'd forgotten about this but a long time ago i'd read about the whole allen klein/abkco debacle and i suspect that that's why i went to the trouble to track down used copies of the stones' albums on vinyl). although, we'll see who the money will be going to now. i'd like to think that whoever it ends up going to will have the decency to at least sell the songs back to those who wrote them... but come on, this is business we're talking about...

across a field of flowers

shalloboi tv-

'field of flowers'-


'christmas song revisited'-


'on the bridge'-


'to the sky'-


'learning how to crawl'-

so many shows, so little $$$$$

last night while trolling the hideout website (i was looking for anything that might indicate the possibility of a neko case lollapalooza after-party- no such luck) i discovered that nina nastasia is playing two shows near the end of the month. a coin toss told me to buy the tickets immediately so i did. so i'm in for a ridiculous string of amazing shows for about the next four weeks- pitchfork is two weeks from sunday, then these two nina nastasia shows (yeah, i bought tickets for both nights), two warlocks shows and then the raveonettes (that will be a three night run at the empty bottle for us- i'm not sure how we're planning on getting there and back every night). if i can scrounge together the money i am into the idea of going to see deerhunter at logan square auditorium on the 9th (which would make for a four-night show run- ridiculous). also if that show doesn't sell out (which is kind of a remote hope). there's been a bit of a drought as of late, but oh how the rain is coming.
not much else to report- i can't seem to keep any amount of money around for any period of time, no matter how short. i've just barely been able to pay my rent just now. i'm not sure entirely why this is- i guess that this is always the case when i pay for a new release. 'dandelions' is still being pressed. it's been taking a while- i think that the last time i heard from cdman was at least two weeks ago. this might be a good sign and the cds might already be on their way. i've been meaning to use my tips to buy a new screen and some photo-emulsion so that i can finish the sleeves that i have. it'd also be nice to buy some more blanks of the sleeves- they are a bit costly ($1 each just for the sleeves, but they look very nice). i even got a check from cdbaby very unexpectedly last week and it ended up going right into the bank and swallowed up. i don't really understand why i'm so low on money right now- things just keep coming up and then different things keep NOT adding up. i got new health insurance because my old carrier raised my rates so i found a new company that would charge me my old rate and they said that they weren't going to take the money from my account until yesterday, but they went ahead and took it upon themselves to take it out about 10 days early. i hope that when they do this in the future they let me know before they do it. i kind of foresee disaster on this front- i don't do automatic payments for this reason because often the places just take the money out early if they feel like it and they don't let you know. i'd rather just be able to pay it on my own when i know that there's enough money in my account to do it.
i'd like to get a second job to help pay my debt down faster- that would really help, actually, but so far that doesn't look like it's going to happen. it is a depression- a lot of people are having enough trouble keeping one job nailed down. it seems like a bad time to try and get two.
anyway, i guess that that's the long and the short of it. i contacted the record bar about playing in kc in august, but haven't heard anything back from them at all. they sort of offered me two possible dates, but haven't heard anything as of yet. maybe i got in touch with them too early... who knows? we were going to use that show as an excuse to come home for a decent period of time- at least three days- and relax and not have some big recording project to work on. plus i have some lps and such and other things i should probably take out of my parents' condo.
other than that work has been pretty good really- not too bad. i'm working at rockwell on the 4th of july and i'm told it will be painfully busy. _______ put the whole thing together and he told me he would have me making coffee drinks all day- which is absolutely perfect. a lot of people i work with are kind of being a bit snobby about the whole thing- 'you're not going to be able to handle it. it's going to be too busy for you' to which i'd tell them 'i used to work the morning rush at starbucks by myself every day- had to make every drink that came in the door' and then it's like 'that's just pushing buttons- you're not going to be able to handle this.' considering how molasses-slow adam makes drinks in the mornings on the weekends i don't think it's going to be a problem. no one seems to notice how quickly i am able to crank drinks out even though it isn't 'just pushing buttons.' it's just a bit annoying because the place i work runs very smoothly compared to nearly every other service-industry job i've ever had. i've worked innumerable places where it's been way busier and way less efficiently run and i've always been able to handle it and it's just a bit insulting of people to be telling me that i'm not going to be able to handle it. if it is miserably busy we'll at least hopefully make a lot of money in tips. plus it's only from 8am to 1pm. or so i'm told. hope it works out. my last paycheck was short a day because of a holiday of some sort and that's one explanation for why this week was such a struggle. it would be nice to have the day off but i just can't afford it at the moment. i'm thinking of trying to use my tips to pay my credit card balance as i get extra money (haw haw haw). it's an idea i've had for a long time, but never put into use.