more personal

after rambling on and on about boring band shit i figured i should write some non-band stuff. i was going to delete the whole entry, but i don't really see the point even if no one wants to read it.
everyone at work is very cranky. myself included sometimes. i had a startling realisation yesterday. my manager is particularly cranky because he hasn't seen his girlfriend in several months and she was supposed to be living with him by mid-june or so but had to stay in louisiana to retake a test that she failed. the next time she can take it is sometime in september. basically my manager's been mr. cranky bitchy pants lately- he's a nice guy most of the time- so it hit me like a mack truck yesterday that he's just in a bad mood because he probably hasn't gotten any in a really long time. i also have realised that regardless of how much people go on about how much they love summer extreme temperatures make everyone cranky and irritable. everyone.
i think i might be getting to the point where i'm resigning myself to the life i've picked out for myself. i've made my own bed and i'm going to have to just lie in it and shut up and just enjoy it. it's not bad. it's actually quite good right now. i do a lot of bitching about a lot of different things but what isn't always clear is that that doesn't mean i'm not enjoying myself or that i hate my life. usually i bitch about things that happen when they are kind of spoiling my good time. if i'm in a bad situation i tend to just shut up and try and slog through it. very strange and i don't know why that is, but i suddenly begin to see how it appears to people who aren't seeing things from my end and i understand that it can be a bit wearing on them. i think this might be one of the reasons i have only a few friends. that and i just don't like/trust a majority of people that i meet and of those that i do like/trust it still takes me a generous amount of time to fully trust them and let them know much of anything real about me. i'm going to be so cranky and curmudgeonly by the time i'm 35 that i wonder if i'll be able to stand talking to anyone. quite funny i think.
i'm just trying to muddle through a slightly difficult financial period at the moment. my bank account was overdrawn by an unexpected 'foreign transaction' charge that my bank imposes on my overseas purchases. this one was $38 and it was for the cdman charge. i think that it's proportional to the amount of the payment, but it put my account in the red. fortunately it didn't result in an overdraft fee. one nice thing about this- washington mutual gives their account holders one free overdraft a year. this is the only time i've overdrawn my account this year- which i actually find quite encouraging. it means to me that my system that i'm using right now is working. it is amazing to me though how much a mere $40 charge has thrown me off. it hit right at the same time as a sort of underwhelming paycheck as well which didn't help things much. so far i've done better than i expected to- i've managed to buy my sister a birthday present and i'm here at the coffee shop by our apartment like i am during all of my weekends. tonight we might be going to get sushi to celebrate my sister's birthday. exciting!
will fixed my bike. it only cost $60 and he fine tuned a lot of things on it, so i've been riding it again. it's pretty fun to do and i like it a lot. i need to grab the helmet from the basement at work and start riding it to work. i'm not sure when my monthly pass is up but once it is i think i'm going to have stefanie switch my transit card to a pay-as-you-go kind of thing. this will free up at least another $50 a month, which will help me pay stefanie back for the $200 i had to borrow so that the cdman transaction would go through. once the tour is over i'm looking forward to attempting to get my credit cards under wraps. my paypal card expires at the end of august. i'm almost hoping they don't bother sending me a new one, but i'm sure they probably will.
after i leave here i'm going to go on my usual ride- just down and back up the lakefront trail. it's very relaxing and i can go at my own pace and interaction with cars is minimal so stefanie has no problem with me riding without a helmet.
my favourite listening at the moment are these four my bloody valentine bootlegs from the recent shows- one from the ica 'rehearsal' show and the other three from the first three of five shows at the roundhouse in london- they sound phenomenal and are quite a good listen. from what i've read the bootlegs pale in comparison to what the experience of the live show is so if that's true i can only imagine what the show will be like in september. very exciting.