these are my five favourite albums that were released this year

this is the best year for new music i've had in a long time. i bought more albums right when they came out than i have in a very long time. possibly since the grunge era. here they are-

1. the warlocks- heavy deavy skull lover

this is easily my favourite record this year- and it seems to not be on anyone else's lists which is an unbelievable shame. it is an incredible record and one of the best warlocks records. i'm still seeking the vinyl version as it has 'worn thin' on it- which is an amazing song. seeing them live this year was one of the best shows i'd seen in a long time and i only caught half of the set. criminally overlooked. the whole album is locked solidly into my top 25 most played on my ipod- i've listened to it 24 times in about two months (and that's not counting how much i listened to the cd at home and during the visit from kc that we just got back from).
2. elliott smith- new moon

only elliott smith would 24 amazing songs sitting around in his closet that were all of such high quality. this record is miraculous. i'd already heard pretty much everything on it through the elliottsmithbsides website (which is where the astounding 'from a basement on a hill' extras were leaked) but hearing them here after they were given some much-deserved love and care and reverence by larry crane is wonderful. if only all posthumous releases were like this posthumous releases would not have a bad name. 'placeholder,' 'pretty mary k' (the version that's on here) and 'angel in the snow' are some of my favourites of any of elliott's songs.
3. deerhunter- cryptograms

i got into deerhunter because my friend diana got me into pitchfork fest for free this year. she had an extra wristband for sunday and she gave it to me. i tried to figure out who i wanted to see and saw that deerhunter had gotten the pitchfork seal of approval (which i am normally pretty suspicious of after what i call the 'serena maneesh incident') and checked them out and was really glad that i made it in time to catch their set as it was the best thing i saw the entire day. i bought this and 'fluorescent grey' (which i pretty much lump in with this as i listen to them both back to back) at the fest. i think that 'cryptograms' is second in my 25 most played. i think i've listened to it about 16 times now or so.
4. nina nastasia and jim white- you follow me

i only own this record digitally. i picked up the bulk of it through various mp3 blogs and bought the stragglers directly from ms. nastasia's snocap store. i think this album has had about 16 plays on my ipod as well. this is the first full album of hers that i owned and what prompted me to see her play at schuba's. i don't even know how to explain what i love so much about her songs, but whatever it is it's reeking and practically marinating in everything that i love about music that is completely intangible and unexplainable. she has such a wonderful voice, a wonderful way with tender, aching melodies and her chord progressions are just simple enough to absorb but just strange enough that you don't understand how she comes up with them. thank you ms. nastasia. i also do love jim white's drumming- i've loved the dirty three for a few years now and his drumming is a great addition to these songs. the concept of a duet album is quite striking as well- just voice, guitar and drums. lovely. 'late night' is the reason i love this album so much.
5. radiohead- in rainbows

this album reminded me that i still love radiohead. i forget sometimes. it's just a case of hearing so much from so many people about how awesome and experimental they are all the fucking time. the fact that occasionally i'll hear this from complete lunkheads doesn't help. all of that said i still love radiohead and this album is a good example why. it's distinctly them and still manages to pull elements from every single aspect of their career so far, but the songs carry it all as always and this batch is particularly strong. i can't believe that they FINALLY released 'nude' after 10 years. watching 'meeting people is easy' and getting upset that the whole song wasn't in it and then after waiting and waiting it wasn't on 'kid a,' 'amnesiac' or 'hail to the thief' and i'd given up hope that they ever release it and then here it is- 10 years on and sounding about a quajillion times better than it did back in 1998 (and that's really saying something- i always thought that it stood out amongst their strongest stuff at that time, which it is common knowledge that the late 90s were their salad days). and then there is also 'all i need' and 'weird fishes/arpeggi' which i think i might love even more than my favourite songs from their salad days. no shit. i paid about the equivalent of $5 for it. this is also something i'd long wished that more bands would do.

yup. it was a weird year- started out really awesome, got really crappy in the middle there for a while and then started to get better towards the end. i would've updated from kansas city but i didn't want my mom to get this address in her autocomplete so i could continue to bitch freely here about my parents. there was only one blow-up and it was just at the beginning- my sister called me on my way home from the airport informing me that my dad wanted to groom me before we went out to dinner that night. my flight had been delayed for an hour and we'd landed just before a blizzard started, mind you and they hadn't even seen me yet. i'd gotten a hair cut and i was cleanly shaven and i have eliminated all clothes with holes for about two months. i got a bit upset and when they saw me they all apologized because i actually looked *gasp* really nice.
from then on the trip was very hectic. we determined that the marathon christmas just isn't possible anymore. i had eight drinks that day and i never got drunk at any point because they were all spread out over the course of the day. i had no access to caffeine of any kind despite being on only a handful of hours of sleep and having to sleep in the media room which was sweltering. i was awakened to the smell of bacon though- which was pretty sweet! i also got to have my mom's sausage souffle for the first time since i was in high school. that was most excellent as well.
after that it was just kind of a rushed push/pull kind of thing and i saw mike and billy a few times but we didn't really get any time to do just the three of us- it was usually in the context of large gatherings and parties, which i'm not so fond of. i just don't like parties that much.
the reader article came out while we were in kansas city, which i'm relieved of. i was pretty happy with how it came out. i even liked the pictures of us that they used. i particularly liked the picture that they put in the table of contents. miles was good to us- he highlighted a lot of things about us that i am really proud of.
anyway, it's really fucking late. i just waded through the entire smeast reunion pictures from a few months ago and oh my god what a festival of pain that was! i hardly even remembered who anyone was at all.

we're going to be in 'the reader' next week

we did the photo shoot to go with the interview from last week tonight. it was weird. i look like my dad with greasy hair and sideburns. end of story. i look like a giant burly grumpy freak. i hope that the picture comes out well. i just hope i don't look ridiculous. i almost wish that they would've asked us for a picture because i could've sent them this one-

click here to vue

we havea a non-floaty version too. i dunno. i'm just a little nervous- i don't know how the article will come out either- i think i might end up sounding like a buffoon. truth be known i'd be pretty surprised if it made a real huge difference as far as people buying our cds and coming to our shows. time will tell i guess...
i need to get all of my shit together for the trip back to kc. i haven't even packed yet at all. i have some string arrangements to write out too since the acoustic show isn't happening. billy has a hairy belafonte show on thursday and ad astra has a show on friday- which will be good i'm sure. i'm wondering what they've been working on lately- hopefully some new songs??
when i come back i will probably be starting work at beans and bagels immediately. two jobs. hopefully i will make the money that i want to finish the record the way that i want to. i think it will make a big difference...
i should go to bed now, though because i'm completely wiped- i was up at 7:30am today...

ok. some perspective.

i lose this all the time.
we need to play a show i think. the problem this last year has mainly been the lack of live show activity. i was talking to stefanie about this the other day- how i wish i could just do recordings and release cds all the time and that that would be enough, but the live stuff is definitely necessary. definitely.
got the podcast sorted for the most part. just have to reserve a car and hopefully becca can play it as well- have to practise with her on saturday. hopefully she can do it (what i mean by this basically is that i hope she has the time and inclination to do it). i think i've found that i'd rather play with someone who is enthusiastic about playing music with me than someone who is fucking brilliant as a player but just not that into it.
i'll try to hold onto this for as long as i can. it might not last the rest of the day, but hopefully it will. i think i'm going to go home today and just work for the rest of the day. people give me a lot of flak for not taking breaks and working on tracks all the time, but read the entry below if you're one of those people. this is what i feel like when i'm not busy working on music stuff. this is why i fill up my vacations to kansas city with recording work and shows.
last night i wanted to try doing some open mic night solo shows just electric. i thought this would be a good way to start playing all of the newer stuff.

there are a few things written on my forehead...

i think that they might include these phrases-

passive-aggressive assholes of the world- here is another victim
unemployable
ignore my music

i'm really at the end of my rope here. i have absolutely no idea what to do now- i think that my best idea so far has been to have stefanie book shows for us. no one will respond to my emails at all. this has even extended to people who i consider my friends. i really can't think of any reasons apart from a fairly simple one- my presence in this world is incredibly pedestrian to a great number of people. i keep so many people at such a far distance that i am completely invisible to nearly everyone i come into contact with. i thought that this invisibility had lifted, but it hasn't. i think that this also applies to my music. as a friend of mine once told me (this is probably the only honest criticism anyone has ever given me) 'your music is great, but it just doesn't draw you in.' tony said something similar to this. i thought that i was starting to get to the point where i was giving people something that they can latch onto, but i think i'm wrong about that.
not sure what to do to improve my station in life. i think that there's very little that i can do. most people don't believe that this is true. i've heard pretty much all of the common catch-phrases, but it really just boils down to being completely invisible. i'm lester in 'american beauty.' i already quit my job, but then i just got a shittier-paying one to replace that put me right back to where i was financially back when i worked for starbuck's. the price of doing what you want and not compromising- that won't change the fact that nobody gives a shit. i'd like to think that this interview with the guy from sharp darts that we're trying to get together will change this fact, but i'm fairly certain that things will go largely unchanged.
believe me, i am aware that this reads like a pity-party, but it honestly isn't meant that way. i don't expect others to solve my problems, i just try and ruminate about what bothers me in the hopes that i can see things more clearly and figure out a solution. it just felt like i was getting ahead for a while there- this last year started out so well and it was probably a high-point in my life and it all just fell apart by about the july/august area. unfortunately it co-incided with me quitting my job, which i initially felt really great about. i just feel like i've been getting kicked a lot while i'm down- y'know with the brakes on the van having to be replaced, the popping of the tires, the crippling medical bills all culminating in a mountain of debt that gets chipped away decently for a while only to gain size all of a sudden. i think it might be time to sell my body to science.
a lot of the time my debt seems like it was caused only by releasing records. i am quite sure that i've paid back all of that money by now. it was about $3500. it's amazing how i can steadily pay any amount of money over the course of months and years and now the grand total stands at about $6000. when i switched to my washington mutual card back in april the total was $4400. it's december now and the tab is $4300. i've paid at least $120-200 every month since then. at this rate the balance will be paid off in about 60 years. i'll be 88.
i just feel like i'm being slowly whittled away out of existence by so much stifling indifference. that's what i inspire in people- complete and total indifference. fuck, my parents are even indifferent to me and they're the only people in this shitty world who are supposed to love me. i don't even know why i'm writing this here- it's like being suspended out in the middle of empty space with nowhere to go and nothing to see and no one to hear you and you're screaming your head off until your voice goes hoarse, your ears go dead, your brain turns to mush and leaks out your ears and your heart finally stops beating and you disappear...

a self-loathing day repaired

today i had a really bad day at work. mostly it was because of all of the thinking about how i wasn't really able to get any shows together and all of that stuff. i got turned down for the empty bottle show that i really wanted. no one else has responded to any of my other messages either. this has been going on for months now and it's very discouraging. i'm beginning to think that i should look into my idea of having shows at churches. i don't know how much it costs to rent one out for a day/night whatever, but i'd imagine that it's quite expensive. i think i'm going to look into it finally because i'm really getting sick of trying to book shows. it's proving to be quite fruitless and quite a nuisance. i'm going to contact the people at the elbo room again to see if we could come back and play there again. i wasn't too nuts about the venue, but the sound was good, the sound man did what we asked him to and made us sound nice, we played well, etc. etc...
anyway, i got really deeply and darkly depressed. they also sent me home from work really really early- i left by about 8:45. this is not a good sign. this had better not happen all week. so far that's already almost half a day's worth of pay gone because i left at 10:15 last night. in a way it was good to leave because it snowed tonight and it looks really beautiful. i've been riding the brown line since the lasalle/van buren stop is right at the top of the street. it's quicker than taking the bus since i usually only have to wait 5 minutes for a train and it doesn't take me 10 minutes to walk there. the view was really beautiful and i couldn't read my book. i almost cried. i was also listening to 'victorialand' by the cocteau twins which has been a winter album for me since i first bought it during the winter of 2000 at the reckless records in notting hill. a few of my other favourite winter albums are 'five leaves left' by nick drake and 'ocean songs' by the dirty three. a few more escape me because of the winters i spent in portland- it never really felt like winter.

i'd like to knock the previous bitter entry out of the top spot

we feel a lot better about that whole thing now that we're planning on selling the van. i got my igo card today, so we will probably do a test run soon and see how it goes. last night my supervisor gave me and another person i work with a ride home because we all live in relatively the same area. he drove a minicooper on lakeshore drive. it was quite an experience riding in a small car again- a little scary- he almost got hit by people not paying attention twice. i'm not used to that anymore because driving in a giant white van people really have to not be paying attention not to notice it. it kind of draws the eye. but we shall see. i'm excited about the car-sharing program because one of the cars that's right by our place is a honda civic and i really miss my old honda civic so much. i'm hoping that when stefanie is going to buy a car (or we both buy a car maybe) that it would be the same kind of civic as the one that i used to have- it was a stick shift. i hope that our stuff will fit in it. i think that most of the time we actually use less equipment than we used to. it isn't necessary to lug the giant bass amp around as much anymore since stefanie plays pretty much all percussion. now it's a question of getting that awkward ass table into a car. the rest of her drum set will be pretty small. i think that she wants to get a ride cymbal and soon she's going to get a floor tom- she's waiting on her christmas bonus.
so far nothing on the christmas time show front. i'm getting a bit antsy. it would really suck not to be able to do it this year. i'm sure no one else would really give a shit, but it's something i've been looking forward to all year. it's very fun and exciting to be able to play live with billy and it sounds really good.
i think we're going to start learning to play the old songs without loops. i've got big plans on the horizon. BIG plans. i've actually started work on the next two records- one is another ep that's actually secretly a full-length record and the other is a full-length with 12 songs that i want to press onto vinyl. i've gotten a good start on the vinyl full-length. i've got a few tracks that are actually almost done- i initially thought that i'd have to redo things on them with the new little tricks that i've learned, but i realised that the guitar sound i'd gotten was the one that i wanted for that entire record and it's a lot easier to get than the 'down to sleep' one- which requires a lot of mics. the vinyl full-length (which is at this point called 'all hope is blind') will be much more minimal and there will be more space and breathing room in the structure of the songs. there aren't as many loops- a few will be bass loops and then there's a really old song that is being re-recorded for it that has an old shalloboi-style loop- me banging on a pan backwards and shaking christmas bells. for the most part there will just be one guitar part (the ones that have multiple guitar parts have some kind of spare melodic part or a few textural overdubs), drums, voice(s) and i'm going to write string arrangements for all of the songs and record them with a trio- cello, viola and violin. i would like to record the string trio in one go since the cassette machine 8-track is a little overstuffed as it is. i also think that it would sound better and wouldn't have to bounce tracks around (which i have to do with a song with three string parts that's on the 'down to sleep' record). no distortion on this full-length at all. it's gonna be pretty sweet. i want to get a string trio together somehow to play the songs live at least once and do arrangements for a few choice old shalloboi songs. here's hoping it can work out. lately i've found if i persist and don't give up i can usually get things to work out the way i want them to on that front. it takes a little creative maneuvering. i learned how to write sheet music in alto clef already (which is for viola). i was watching a nick cave dvd and they were doing string arrangements and picked something up that might help me write in bass clef (which is for cello). i keep putting off talking to someone who works with stefanie about recording some violin tracks for 'down to sleep' and i will ask her to show me how to write out sheet music in treble clef. i did actually learn to read and write music wayyyyy back when i was first learning to play guitar. i used to be able to play guitar by reading it straight off of the page without tablature. tablature really ruined that. i tried to keep it up for as long as i could and i really wish that i hadn't lost that, but honestly there've only been two times i can think of where it's mattered or kept me from doing something- both involved the moe!kestra. anyway, that's where i'm at right now. i just recorded some guitar parts and a vocal for 'narcoleptic' which is on the vinyl full-length and was played live at last year's acoustic show (mike played the acoustic guitar part). i just finished recording the new version of 'on the bridge' yesterday, which i need to mix down now and post as part of the 'wish' single (which also needs artwork). i've finished a ton of extra tracks for the 'down to sleep' cycle. i did a few decent scratch drum tracks for those as well. i mainly just need to mix it all down and keep listening to all that stuff. i really need to finish this track that's been languishing on a shelf for at least two years, probably longer. i have a feeling if i finish it it might become something really special. stefanie sang it a while back- it just needs the full meal deal. we'll see how it goes. perhaps that could be my little project for the day.
i think i shall cut this off then right here. i doubt anyone made it all the way through.

i'm glad that the person who has slashed my tires FIVE times is going to get away with it

that's correct- someone who lives in a house on glenlake, west of broadway before one of those sides streets (possibly greenview- i'm not 100% certain), has been slashing the tires on my van. why? your guess is as good as mine. i have three theories- 1) it's some prick who should move to the suburbs- the type of person who gets upset when their neighbors don't mow their lawn everyday because it's not enough for them to be concerned about the aesthetic beauty of their own house and yard, they make it their business to make sure everyone else surrounding them does and to this type of person a giant, beat-up old windowless chevy van with hippie stickers on it is the type of eyesore that you don't ask the person to remove, you just poke small holes in the tires facing the sidewalk when you go out to get the morning paper. 2) it's some over-concerned parents who think that the owners of a beat-up windowless chevy van (even with hippie stickers) are doubtlessly child molesters and even though on children have disappeared from the comfort of the neighborhood they must take it upon themselves to stick it to the potential child molesters by poking holes in their tires. 3) it's just some asshole kids who think it's funny to pop people's tires. funnily enough number three upsets me the least. if it's numbe one i don't understand why they couldn't just leave a note telling me that they don't like me parking my van in front of their house- i would've thought they were a prick, but i would've at least respected their wishes. if it's number two people who live on the block have all seen stefanie and i leaving the van- we would be pretty easy to identify if any kids went missing. plus the van is a bit distinct-looking- i think the police would be able to find us in about 30 seconds. number three would be done by stupid kids- and i can understand stupid kids doing incredibly stupid things, but this flat tire plague doesn't seem to be hitting anyone else's car but ours and i don't think that kids (no matter how stupid or reckless they are) would be bothered to single out our vehicle alone. it seems to me that it would have a bit more of a random feel. there is nothing random about these occurences- they are obviously done by someone specifically intending to send us a message. i thought for a while that our tires were getting popped when i'd drive stefanie to work and we'd park on ravenswood, but since the last time (which was only a week or so ago) i've avoided parking on ravenswood and i haven't had a problem until today. what's more it seems that it must be done in the morning before we leave because even if you pop tires it takes them a while to lose their air.
i do also know for certain, beyond any doubt at all that they are being poked- every time i've been to the the tire place to replace the tires they've said 'the holes were in the sides' and it is always on the two tires on the passenger's side- i.e. the tires that are next to the curb and the sidewalk. i haven't curb-checked in months at least. i don't even think i've driven over any glass in a long time either.
whatever the case may be- we're finally saying 'uncle.' we simply can't afford to keep fixing tires that some prick insists on popping. the tab is at $500 (with the current flat that it has- i'm not sure but there might be another flat by tomorrow, which would bring it up more) right now. that's been over maybe two months. in addition to that we had to replace the brakes, which cost $650 (which a friend at work who works on cars informed me is a massive rip-off). i'm on $8 an hour. gas is almost $3.50 a gallon- the piece of shit gets 17 miles to the gallon on the highway. we have a tour in the works in march, but at this point if we have to save $1000 just to cover gas we might as well just rent a car and sleep in a motel every night for that much money. we've already looked into starting an account with igo (a shared-car service). there are four cars within walking distance of where we live. we hardly ever drive as it is. we're just going to sell the stupid van- it's caused us nothing but headaches. it costs $250 to drive home and back in that thing. that's more expensive than flying. i wouldn't have to pay for car insurance any more- we'd be insured through the shared-car service.
i'm so angry and frustrated about this. i can't believe that i have to get the fucking thing towed to the tire store AGAIN (this will seriously be the second time in two weeks) and put more money on my fucking credit card for more fucking tires. the most infuriating thing about all of this is that we will never know who fucking did this to us. even more infuriating than that it's someone who lives in one of those $600,000 houses over there on glenlake- it looks like the suburbs. what fucking asshole does something like this? it's not like we'd drive that thing around if we had a lot of money. the fucking nerve. if i ever find the motherfucker who did this i will pound that $500 out of him. if it's a her, then i'm sure stefanie would be willing to do the pounding.
even better this happens on the day before her birthday.
i even had an idea of making a little note and dropping it in everyone's mailbox in that general vicinity. i know which area it would happen in now. i could probably even narrow it down to three to five houses.
FUCK! i really hate owning a car...

i saw half of the warlocks' set last nite

and i really didn't mind that i paid $14 for the 30 minutes of it that i saw. it was that fucking good. i only saw them play three songs- one was a jam that was naturally really awesome then they did an encore which consisted of 'cosmic letdown' and 'worn thin'- which i hadn't heard yet, but now have discovered that it is on the vinyl version of the new record. i wish i'd bought the vinyl now, but i'll look for it elsewhere. they took down their snocap store from their myspace page, otherwise i would imagine that i could buy it there. if all else fails i wouldn't mind buying the vinyl. i'm planning on buying a t-shirt with the money on my next paycheck. but, wow, it was soooo much better than last time we saw them (and that time was really good). i loved logan square auditorium- i'd always heard such bad things about it, but none of it was true. somewhere i had read that the sound is atrocious there and while i was there i thought that the sound was probably the best that i've heard in town for a show that size. it certainly sounded way better than when we saw them at the metro and it was much more intimate. i'm really glad i went ahead and made the effort to go even if i didn't see the rest of the show (which stefanie and kylie told me was amazing- stefanie even kept a list and i am still a bit bummed that i missed them playing 'hurricane heart attack' which is a fucking AWESOME song). it was nice to see them all fired up- fucking hell they were awesome! someone was filming right by the stage and i am praying that they post the whole show on youtube or at least some of the parts that i missed- i.e. 'warhorses' (which they played last time too and it was what really won me over) and the aforementioned song. 'worn thin' was actually better than the video i have embedded below. watch and enjoy and go buy the new record on vinyl for god's sake! and go see them play- it's so worth it and people are being all lame and ignoring them.

what to say?

i had all this stuff in mind to say... ah, yes-
finally got ahold of the new warlocks cd and i fucking LOVE it. i'm not sure if i like it better than 'surgery'- it's pretty different in most ways. i love the really dreamy billowy stuff on it (which is a generous chunk of it). i've listened to it about three times today. the first time during the first song i was kind of like 'oh, man- is this going to be what the whole album is like?' but it isn't. now i actually like the first track. the last track is super weird, but every time i listen to it i like it. it really isn't like anything else they've done so far. the production is worlds different- it's a bit low-endy and less crisp. at first i didn't like it but then i realised that i've always thought that the guitars sounded a bit too sparkling and crisp, so they gave me my wish. i think one of the reasons i didn't like it at first is because i've been trying to make my own recordings of my guitars sound less low-end heavy and make them a bit clearer, but i realised that if that's what you're going for, then that's what you're going for. it gives everything a very heavy, dreamy feel on the new record. now i'm making it sound like i'm going to go off and make all of our guitars sound that way- no i think that i strive for a happy medium between heavy/dreamy/low-endy and clear/crisp/sharp.
speaking of my own music work some very relieving news to myself- i love the tracklisting that i picked out for 'down to sleep,' so basically now i know what to finish asap. i'm still going to try and get as much of the other tracks done as possible, but so far the songs have seperated themselves pretty well. i have listened to the album several times through and i really like it- it is the kind of album i have been looking to hear for a long time. i was thinking of trying another version of 'ada' with some bowed guitar, and i'm still going to try it, but if it doesn't work better i'm probably going to still put 'ada' on the record. so now i have to buy a bunch of new microphones, two distortion pedals, a voc ac30 and i'm weighing the possibility of buying another doo-dad that makes the low-end all nice and fat, but as luck would have it might not be necessary. for the ten songs i've selected i need to re-record some guitar parts (with the new mics, amp and pedals) and the drums need to be finished (for which i also need the new mics- not as many as i'd thought and i realised we don't have a lot of pieces). so voila! magnifique!
of the incomplete songs only one needs string parts- so i thought i might see if i could get them done while in kansas city for christmas and then i won't have to go back in march- it might be able to wait a while- which will help if we are able to get a tour together for march (hardee-har har!!!). i am going to try and sell the electric piano that i have to make enough money to release the album. i think i'm going to ask for about $1200 for it in the hopes of getting $1000. it's in very good shape, 88-keys and everything on it works and i'll help people move it to their vehicle. this will be if i can get sam's mom's piano as well. i might sell the electric piano first, tho. my dad will be pissed. the fact of the matter is that i would rather have a real piano and i need one for recording purposes anyway. the only times i've used the electric piano is when i've been working on string arrangements.
so that's my news for the moment. more on this as it develops.

i hung out with billy and mike today

it was pretty much like being transported back 10 years. talk about a ten year reunion- that was really the only one i'd be interested in. some highlights and quotes-
new band names-
pussy sandwich
my bloody fudge tunnel
crotch coffee

yes, it was like that.
my visit's been okay so far. today was probably the highlight. we hung out on the lawn in front of the art museum and watched two different bride and groom couples taking pictures. billy and mike bought cigars and were smoking them only to abandon them claiming that they tasted like 'alligator dick.' it has been unbelievably good to be around them again and not have to watch anything that i say whatsoever. this has definitely recharged my batteries and i am really glad that i came. not everything's been so great, but none of that is to do with mike or billy at all.
to stefanie- i have gotten ahold of something you will be VERY amazed to see again (as was i).
end of transmission.

i am a vegetarian no longer

i'm in beans and bagels and i just ate a bacon and cheese bagel and it was so fucking tasty! more later on if it makes me sick. so far i feel a little weird, but mostly good. mostly i am all hopped up and exhilerated. hopefully this will be the result.

i never realised...

here's a post for everyone who hasn't spoken to me in a while. the details of my upcoming trip-
i am leaving on thursday night at around midnight. my bus gets into kansas city at 10 the next morning. i am leaving to come back to chicago on monday night at 8pm. my bus gets back in to chicago at around 6 or 7am the next morning. i am not bringing my guitar back home with me (at least at this point). i am reconsidering this as i was playing it last night and it was nice to sit around and play songs for a little while.
i am indeed working a new job. it's at a lockbox. i am not allowed to speak about it. basically it's just pushing papers around and it's your standard corporate environment where a million people do a million very specific jobs and no one really knows who's supposed to be doing what or what's going on elsewhere. yes, indeed. it's a pointless busy-work paradise. although it is something i'm not supposed to talk about it's not an evil purpose that i'm serving there- it actually is a good purpose, which i'm happy doing.
we are throwing around the idea of going to new york on stefanie's birthday to catch the acoustic mainlines show at the apollo theater. we must procure plane tickets, a hotel and tickets to the show. we haven't really gotten down to the nitty-gritty of this yet and it still looks like a pipe dream at this point, but it doesn't look like the acoustic mainlines shows are making it over this way- which seems odd to me personally as they're playing three shows in california and then one in toronto (?) and another one in new york. i'd think that it wouldn't be entirely out of the question to stop in chicago and play a date, but whatever.
what else? a new song is up on our myspace page called 'angels floating on the head of a pin'- thus far it's only a demo- the guitars and drums will probably be redone soon. http://www.myspace.com/shalloboi.

still no skinnernet

our internet went dead probably last friday, right around the same time that our land line was dropped. so yeah, we've been without internet since. i'm at beans and bagels right now. not much to report- i'm going to be working the next two saturdays to make up for the time i'll be in kansas city. the last step is to buy my bus ticket. i'm hoping that my paycheck will arrive in the mail today so that i can start doling the money out. i basically get about $50 from each weekly paycheck to do what i want with it. i hope that that's enough- there's really no reason why it shouldn't be. my horroscope today told me to live the extravagant life. we'll see if it's $8 or $8.50 an hour. it better be the latter- because that's what i was told it is.
i downloaded the new radiohead album- i paid about $5 for it. i also bought the last few tracks on the nina nastasia/jim white album that i didn't have yet and all of the rare warlocks tracks that they're selling on their myspace page. that's just good stuff.
i should go though- i have some errands to run and such. adios muchachos!
watch this-

i went to the nina nastasia and jim white show

it was really good as expected. the set was very short, though- i wish it had been about 15 minutes longer (i suspect that i'm not alone as far as that goes). i found my favourite place to stand at schuba's- in the back behind the soundboard. the show was sold out last night and i came in right after they'd started playing because stefanie met up with me wanting to go to the show- but our internet went down yesterday so she wasn't able to buy a ticket beforehand and the show was sold out, so i walked her back to the belmont train station. when i got back, of course, no one was working the door to the music space, so after standing there for a minute or two and hearing that nina and jim were already playing i finally just opened the door and went in and stood behind the soundboard area. very very nice- i had plenty of room- no one was invading my personal space at all and it sounded very nice back there. i was right next to the merch booth- so this is a space that isn't always open- the merch guy wasn't taking up hardly any room. they played for about 30 minutes and then stopped before coming back to play three more songs. it was really really good- her songs are refreshingly unassuming. she has a reputation for writing really dark material- but this is definitely not always the case. difficult to pin down or talk about. i'm not sure what made me get into her just now as i heard some of 'dogs' back in 02 or 03 when it had just been reissued and i didn't think that the way people described it was accurate at all and i didn't like it. back then i kind of expected all music to be subversive in some way sonically- i don't know why this is. a lot of this accounts for why i didn't like the brian jonestown massacre at first. i also hated organs. this is not the case anymore. they played a lot of songs from the latest record, which is fantastic. i listened to it a thousand times at work during the week- which kind of facilitated me going in the first place. i listened to her so much that i had to go. i wish i'd had some cash as they had the new record on vinyl and since i have all of it but three songs on mp3 it would've been nice to buy it on vinyl so i'd only have to convert three songs and i'd have it on vinyl for fuck's sake. that's the ideal situation nowadays.
today we went to evanston because i had to buy another screen and a hinge-mount for it. i also got a bonding agent as per nick's advice at the radish patch show- my biggest silk-screening problem last time was that the arigato paks kept sticking to the screen by the ink and when i'd pull them off the ink would end up looking stretched and too thick. i ruined about 10 paks that way alone and it caused me to have a meltdown. i need to do more silk-screening this weekend because i have to start sending copies out for reviews and to cdbaby etc. etc. i emailed 'love, chicago' in the hopes that they would do a profile on us or something. the reason for the renewed silk-screening activity is because the photoemulsion that i made for the first screen is going to expire on monday, so i need to use it. i wanted to make a screen for some t-shirts and i'm trying to come up with a simple design that will work and won't be difficult to screen- and with just one colour. i have a few ideas that i like- one that's the easiest i am beginning to think would work the best. ideally once i come up with a design i'm going to go ahead and prepare the screen and do the exposure so that it's done and i can use it whenever i finally have money to buy some t-shirts and ink with (haw haw haw). i think if i get it done the impending november 3rd show will be a good impetus to try and make some shirts. yes, i'll doubtlessly wait until the absolute last second to do them, as per usual. i should go though because stefanie's going to leave.

a little better

by the end of yesterday after work i felt like i was joseph k. in 'the trial.' just ask if you don't know what that means- or better yet read the book- it's by franz kafka.
today was better though, i am beginning to understand what my function is. this is of course after i emailed my temp agency asking about the possibility of being moved to 3rd shift. now i would like to give this current job assignment a little more time. i also emailed about all of the fucking days off i'm going to need in the next three months. i didn't mention the possibility of the london trip, since i'd rather just fuck with that once i'm ready to book it i'd say.
i didn't do much today considering that i actually got up at 7:45 to take stefanie to work and drink some tea at the coffeeshop. i witnessed a near-fender bender on the way home- past hazel street (which i didn't know that we had a hazel street here in chicago- but given the deerhunter connection it made me really happy). it was one of those situations where someone decides they're going to go over a double yellow line right in front of a stop light and someone is actually letting them through, but then those who are trying to get into the turn lane don't see the people making the idiot left turn since they're basically coming out of nowhere. there was a teeny little tap. i don't even think that it left a dent in either car, but man- it was close. scary. the dude making the idiot left turn just smiled and drove off. the person who was hit froze for a while and then drove off. how exciting.
i did convert 'pinkerton' to mp3 from my old cassette copy of it- purchased new in 1996 a week after it came out. i also did the dishes, which stefanie told me cheered her up a bit from her frustrating day. she had to deal with call-center employees who don't really speak english very well. a truly ingenious corporate device- outsource call centers to foreign countries in the far east and give them to people there. yes, your call center employees will be totally challenged in the realm of communication as it will be in a language they won't know very well, but this will work to your advantage because your customers will get so frustrated trying to convey their problems to these poor call center employees that they will call much less. it's pretty ingenious. anyone who claims that they just did it for cheap labor is deluding themselves. this way you get cheap labor and you cut off all forms of communication from your customers. i should write a book.

my connection to the outside world

unfortunately this blog will now be my only contact with my friends and loved ones during the working week as i am now working second shift and once i start at the coffee shop, my days will consist of get up at 5 or 6am, go to work, get done at 2pm, go downtown, work some more, go home at 11:15, go to sleep at midnight start over again. i hope that it doesn't kill me. the idea behind this insanity is that this second shift job is most likely just a temporary thing- the likelihood of it lasting more than three months is very low- that figure is in fact very generous of my tolerance of it. it's going to be strictly week-to-week. the training was very long, boring and kind of a long drawn-out process of learning a really complicated way to do something fairly simple. tonight i went in to start and they aren't even having me do the job i was trained to do. it's related in a very abstract and removed way, but what i'll be doing all day (or afternoon, evening and night i should say) is pretty different. today they really didn't even have anything for me to do in the department that i was moved to. at one point i was sticking labels onto folders for an hour because i was wandering around looking for something to do and someone pulled me aside and had me do those. to be honest i wish that that was all i did all day, every day. labels onto envelopes. if that were my sole responsibility for chase that would be divine, but sadly the man has other plans for me.
what is my job? i have no fucking clue. basically moving files and papers and organizing them over and over again and preparing them for their next round of moving around and organizing. working for a corporate behemoth is amazing in its banality. so much sound and fury for so little. that goes for the pay as well. the only reason i'm going to try and stick it out is because working two jobs for a while is a good way to get a good deal of money fairly fast. my plan is to get my studio started. for real. even if i'm not able to get the board and the tape machine the likelihood of getting everything but those two things is not that bad. at worst i should be able to make enough money to buy the microphones i wanted to finish the next album and the vox ac30 i wanted to buy as well. the microphones are kind of the big to-do for the studio. once i have a good smattering of those, the rest should be fairly straightforward. after those two things next would be some little fixings like preamps and headphone amps and extra sets of headphones and whatnot. after that would be a 1/4" analog 2-track tape machine. then board. then 1/2" 16-track tape machine. fairly simple. all told about $6000. maybe.
right now the woman who lives above us is doing some hammering on the ground. it's 12:40am. i sometimes think that she's a drug-addict of some kind because she keeps the most crack hours of anyone i've ever seen. up and hammering shit into the floor at 1am, but also up and stomping around bright and early at about 6am. can't figure it out. i appreciate that she tolerates the considerable amount of noise that i make, but this is fucking ridiculous.
i'm off to sleep now i think.

deerhunter a la empty bottle

wowee zowee! the deerhunter show was really fucking amazing. i'm not real surprised. i knew pretty much everything they played. here's a setlist-

a new song i didn't know, cryptograms, red ink, wash off, dr. glass, spring hall convert, hazel street, octet, strange lights
encore-
fluorescent grey, heatherwood

some people were filming the show. hopefully they'll share it somehow. they are also responsible for this nice piece of documentation from the last time that deerhunter played at the empty bottle-



not much to report on apart from that. i was up until 4am last night editing audio from the brian jonestown massacre show at the double door last year. it sounds decent through headphones so i'm putting it on my ipod. i might share it later, but the ending of the show never got burned to cdr- the minidisc recorder i used to record it died while the last disc was being burned and it has so many skips in it that it is pretty well unlistenable. it didn't get through the amazing spacemen 3-esque jam that the bjm played before it died, which is to say nothing of 'swallowtail' which was also really awesome.
today we went to the modern art museum. it took us an hour to get down there on the train- it kept stopping and sitting for 10 minutes at a time.
anyway, i think that's good for now. i start my new job tomorrow. yipes...

a quick one, while he's away

a few bits of news- i started training for my new job. the training is in the chase tower downtown. it's super weird to be going in there every day. everything is under lock and key. i have to go to the 55th floor, which is just full of meeting rooms. it won't be where i'll be working next week- that place is at the bottom of the loop el tracks (it's a block over from cal's actually). it's super secret, what i do. they won't even let us take our notes that we take during training home.
the job itself is going to be total drone work. i am in the document preparation department. basically a big mess of documents come in an envelope and i have to put them in a specific order dependant on what's in the envelope. that really is all there is to it. fucking. awesome. at least it's not permanent.
i'm not too invested in it really. a lot of things are on the horizon and i'm just looking at it as a bridge from right now to christmas time.
speaking of which, our flights are booked, have been for a while.
the last acoustic mainlines show (this is jason pierce and another guy from spiritualized playing acoustic with a string quartet and three gospel singers- i've heard several bootlegs and it sounds like a wonderful experience) is in london in december. it's in union chapel, which is an awesome place to see shows. we are toying with the idea of flying to london to see it. it's on december 9th (which is a sunday i think).
now that i'm locked into a 2nd shift job all of these sweet shows are going to pop up that i'm not going to be able to go to. i'm going to try and get to see nina nastasia next friday night (the show doesn't start until 10pm anyway- i get off at 11:15) if i have some spare money (haw haw haw). the first show that i'm pretty sure i won't be able to make it to was announced today in the red eye. the warlocks are playing november 9th (which is a friday night) and it starts at 8:30 and as of right now there is only one opening band. i'm still toying with the idea of going. it'd be better to see them for just a short while than not at all, dammit. my only prayer is that it starts late and there are two opening bands. as of right now there is only one. FUCK!
i didn't realise this but i hope that the brian jonestown massacre doesn't come through during this 2nd shift job. that'd be just my luck.
anyway, i guess i just need to buck up and put up with it for three months. it is going to be during winter time and less shows do come through town during then (of course two winters ago was when we saw the dirty three and the warlocks in the same week).
i got horribly depressed on monday night. it was kind of involved and repetitive and about what i always get depressed about, so i won't go into it. it's mainly just because the next few weeks will be quite the ridiculous tightrope. i'm not going to have much extra money (if any at all) because every little penny is spoken for right now.
i did buy myself a ticket to see deerhunter on saturday night though before i ran out of money. kind of a wise decision.
not sure what will happen with that whole trip to kansas city thing. i was actually told to talk to the people at the job site about days off as soon as possible because they are somewhat flexible on this issue. here it goes- 'okay, i've got plans on friday the 26th, monday the 29th, friday november 16th, we might be going to london on friday, december 7th and we'll be back on monday the 10th, and then we've already got our flights booked for december 22nd through the 29th.' good fucking luck...

my eyeballs sting

i can't sleep, yet again. strange how this is becoming a weekly occurrence. strange again how horrible my spelling has gotten.
i got the chase job today- i start next week. i'm going to go to beans and bagels and talk to susan about the possibility of working there as well since chase is a temporary position.
here's this- i've just been sitting on it since i filled it out, but i'm going to post it now-

1.When was the first time and last time you kissed the last person you kissed?
-- sometime in summer of 2000. last night before bed.

2. What's the most exciting thing that happened to you today?
-- i got a job.

3. How many best friends do you have?
-- 3

4. Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
-- sleep in. who wouldn't?

5. Tell me where you got each article of clothing you're wearing?
-- my pants were ordered on the dickies website. the socks and shoes were both gifts. the long sleeve shirt from american apparel and the t-shirt on the clearance rack at urban outfitters.

6. no question,take a break,breath in and out thinking only of chocolate,dark naugthy chocolate....now on to question 7!
--

7. What would you change about your life right now?
-- i just need a bunch of money, but isn't that what anyone would say?

8. Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
-- cry over the truth. lies really piss me off.

9. What's on your bedroom floor right now?
-- dirty clothes, guitar chords.

10. Who was the last person you got into an argument with?
-- stefanie.

11. Do you trust people easily?
-- it depends on the person.

12. If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move to?
-- london

13. Do you think you're pretty?
-- no.

14. Could you go a day without eating?
-- yes, i've done this, but it's not fun.

15. How much do looks matter to you?
-- i'd say a little less than the average person, but they do still matter- but i also find a lot of rather uncommon physical attributes attractive.

16. How do you feel about PDA?
-- i'm still not wild about it. strangely enough when i lived in london i saw more pda, but it also upset me less and i found it easier to participate with the appropriate person.

17. When is the last time you had your hair cut?
-- not sure... i think in april or something??

18. Would you rather be mad or sad?
-- sad.

19. Does it take a lot to make you cry?
-- yes, it takes a ton.

20. What's the worst car accident you've ever been in?
-- some old geezer rear-ended me with his big truck and horse trailer, age 19.

21. Are you tight with your money?
-- i don't really have any.

22. How do you feel about liars?
-- they're full of shit and sub-par human beings. unless they're writers- then at least there's a good excuse.

23. Do you tell your parents everything?
-- no.

24. Would you rather be a bird or a fish?
-- a bird.

25. Name one fear you have.
-- that all of the money, time, blood, sweat and tears that i've poured into my music will all end up being for nothing at all.

26. If you need to go to the store a block away, do you walk or drive?
-- walk

27. Does the thought of marriage scare you?
-- of course not- i'm married and it's not scary at all.

28. How many kids do you want?
-- none

29. What's your favorite color to wear?
-- black

30. Who was the last person in your bedroom besides you?
-- stefanie.

31. What did you do last night?
-- we watched 'curb your enthusiasm' on dvd.

32. What would you do if you found a dinosaur egg?
-- give it to someone who knew what to do with it.

33. What's something someone can do that really bothers you?
-- be manipulative, not be upfront and honest with me, crawl around behind my back like a coward and string me along when they could just say 'i'm not into your music so i think it would be better if we not work together anymore.' oh yeah, and keep little lists of every little tiny mistake i've ever made and read it to me in one go and expect me not to get upset or offended by it. not that any of this has happened recently.

34. Do you wish you were famous?
-- no.

35. When you're at the beach, do you swim or lay out more?
-- swim.

36.Who's the last text you got from?
-- claire is the only person who has ever texted my phone.

37. How do you like your steak cooked?
-- i don't eat steak- i'm a vegetarian.

38. What's your favorite song at the moment?
-- 'under the milky way' by the church

39. Are you in love?
-- yes

40. Can music effect your mood?
-- i think of it as more of an enhancer than an affecter...

41. What piercings do you want?
-- none

42. What tattoos do you want?
-- none

43. Have you ever been in a cave?
-- no

44. Have you ever eaten a bug?
-- yes.

45. Do you think there's someone for everyone?
-- sure.

46. how old will you be in 3 birthdays?
-- 31

47. do you think you'll be married by then?
-- i think i'll still be married by then

48. are you a social person?
-- no

49. what is your favorite dessert?
-- tiramisu

50. do you like coffee?
-- yes

51. how many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?
-- too many to count. i'd guess about 10.

52. would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring?
-- i can't really tell a difference.

53. do you eat out or at home more often?
-- at home.

54. ever stolen a street sign?
-- hee hee- when i was a sophomore i had a friend who lived to steal street signs.

55. have you ever been in an ambulance?
-- no

56. do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
-- aisle seat.

57. do you currently hate someone?
-- my last boss did a number on me- i was up for hours a few nights ago agonising over all of the shit she put me through, but even given all of that i don't hate her. i don't even hate the president. so no.

58. why do you take myspace surveys?
-- to kill time.

hypnotist collector

i'll be starting at chase next week. it looks like it will be first shift. i just realised that it might be wiser to take 2nd shift and work at beans and bagels at the same time- their shift ends at around 3pm anyway. that way i would be able to pay off my debts and hopefully save some serious money before christmas and then when i get back in town i'll still have a job. i actually do want to work at beans and bagels, even though it means that i'll be seeing the two boss ladies i detest so pretty much every day.
how incredibly fortunate that i decided not to call in to smart today. i wanted to just stay home and get my screenprinting started, and also i'd be able to do the dishes and the laundry, which i need to do. i'm at metropolis right now. in celebration of my new job that starts next week i figured it wouldn't be totally out of line to celebrate a little early. i also have to go to the hardware store and pick up one last (hopefully) ingredient for the printing which is to transpire. awersome! i hope that it will work. i'm a bit nervous i must confess. i really really hope that they will be done in time for the radish patch show. the only other show we have booked at the moment is at permanent records on nov. 3rd. no one else is biting at all. at. all. annoying. a bit of a shame as well as hannah can't work with anymore. brendan can't either for some reason. hannah appears to be going through a really rough time- she just got back from japan and said that she's in therapy right now. she said that she's taking a break from playing music for a while. this is a shame because i actually did like playing music with her- she played things exactly as i asked her to to the letter and very beautifully, i was really looking forward to having her play on more of the record. there are still about 8 cello/string parts left to be done for 'down to sleep.' the vocals are almost done (there are two left and both are just by me) and other than vocals and such there really isn't much that can be finished before i need to buy more equipment to achieve the level of quality i am after. i guess with the new job and whatnot buying some new microphones can be done so that we can get the drums recorded properly. i really wanted to go after some good drum sounds. the ones we've gotten so far with only two mics i'm very happy with, but a lot of that is simply to do with how stefanie plays and the sheer starkness of the beats- i.e. only mic is necessary to record the table and if there's no snare involved things are much easier.
so at the show this thursday it's just going to be stefanie and i playing acoustic with no p.a. i was thinking that we'd also attempt to play a few from 'blue-eyed.' i played 'song to the stars' in the room last week and i definitely want to fit that in there- it'd be perfect for the occassion and it hasn't been played for a long time now- kind of sad to leave a great song like that on the shelf...
i think that will be all for today.

hippie motherfucker

our hippie motherfucker neighbor is having another one of his little parties. it'd be really nice if he wouldn't have them late at night on a week night- just another flag to fly saying 'i have no job and i am a spoiled little college brat whose mommy and daddy are paying my rent and my bills.' on top of that it sounds like there are a million loud motherfuckers being super loud outside, naturally right under our window, and it's getting kind of annoying. i hope it doesn't wake stefanie up. hippie motherfucker's got music blaring in his apartment that i can hear from in here and i can hear the annoying laughs filing into his apartment. i really, really don't like hippie motherfucker, as i'm sure you can tell from this post.
i had three hours of sleep last night and i'm totally exhausted. if those dumb motherfuckers laughing really loud don't shut the fuck up heads will fucking roll. hippie motherfucker heads to be exact.

i can't sleep...

yeah, i can't sleep.
it's that silly reunion thing again. it digs up a lot of skeletons that are in the closet and that's just not fun, y'know?
i dunno...
i was doing just fine. fuck. i think i'm just nervous because i sent kyle land a message through myspace because i wanted to friend him and see how he's doing and whatnot and now i'm worried that people are going to find me and i don't really want any of those high school people to find me. i don't know why that is- high school wasn't particularly torturous for me- only a few people were really fucking mean to me, i never got beaten up or anything like that- there was a rumor for years and years that i was gay, but that never bothered me very much. even when i see it now i just think it's funny and ridiculous. i even came to the conclusion recently that i think that my parents thought i was gay because of debbie welch. i'm not sure what facilitated it or anything, but somehow people got it into their heads that i must be gay. i think it was because i was weird and gay is easier to understand than weird maybe? or maybe it's a reason for weird. it's just weird because i remember my parents being so angry about something all the time and i never understood why and they'd never talk to me about it- my dad especially. it's all stuff that could've been avoided if my dad had just sat down with me and asked me point blank and i could've said 'no, i don't know where people get that idea from.' end of discussion.
i dunno...
even in the thick of everything that happened i was always so detached from it that i usually just didn't care or was blissfully unaware of things like that because i didn't spend any time caring about whether or not people thought bad things about me. it's similar to what i call the 5th grade mentality. i say 5th grade mentality because when i look back on my life i realise that when i was in 5th grade was when i was probably as close to self-actualized as i'd ever be. people called me a nerd to my face all the time and i just didn't give a fuck. i'd usually just say 'well, if not being a nerd means that i have to be friends with jerks like you i'd rather be a nerd. fuck you.' seriously- i'd say shit like that to my classmates when they'd insult me. i never got upset about that stuff because i knew it didn't matter. it's a mentality that i still aspire to. i might be close right now, but a few things seem to have derailed it.
what's more the thought of facing all of those people is just terrifying and i don't know why. i don't understand why it's necessary to meet up and see where everyone is. me- married, jobless, balding, pumping all of my money into my music releases that no one gives two shits about let alone buys and driving a huge white hippie van. i'm doing what i want to be doing, but honestly i'm the reason people like to go to reunions and feel better about themselves. the problem is that i was nice to people in high school. well, for the most part. my hands aren't necessarily clean on that bit. i just don't want to agonize about that stuff because try as i might i do if it enters my mind. same with the sad stuff that happened to me (usually this just involves being chicken shit and stupid and not realising that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't). i felt like i was finally getting to a place in life where that stuff wasn't bugging me anymore and now this stupid reunion comes up and i start hearing this about this person and that about that person and start running into random people from high school on the street here in chicago... why? what for? i went to what was supposedly one of the best public schools in the entire country, went to college, got a degree and for the love of god i still can't figure out why or what it did for me to make my life any better. college was a collosal waste of time and money. the only good thing about it was that i met stefanie in college, but considering the synchronicity of the two of us i wouldn't be surprised if we would've met later on anyway.
and then there's kara. i'm going to be very frank right now, so if you haven't got the stomach to read this then you'd better stop because i have to unburden myself here. there's a survey down a little further and on it is a question that says something to the effect of 'have you ever had your heart broken?' and i answered that i didn't think i had but i realise that i was wrong to answer that way. yeah, being a dumbass and letting her get away was enough to break my heart. that's why i had insomnia for about six months solid. of course seeing her didn't really do anything to make that any better- that just broke it even more because i really saw what that whole 'it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't.' i would prefer it if someone else had broken it deliberately instead of me doing it to myself without even knowing it. and the thing is is that i wrote that song (do you really have to ask?) so that i wouldn't feel bad about it anymore and it seemed to have worked. it was the kind of song i've always wanted to write- just kind of came out almost by accident, said everything i wanted to say (which was basically 'i'm sorry') and did it in a way that i was comfortable with. it's just that things like this come along and it just fucking sucks, you know? you get over something and get on with your life, but that isn't how things work evidently- you'll hear something that'll bring all of the feelings bubbling to the surface. naturally i have nothing better to do with my time right now than think about it. naturally the only weekend i can come home when everyone i want to see will be in town is the weekend of the fucking reunion, when the town will be crawling with people from high school and everyone in the mood to get together and rehash old times. fuck, i still feel like i'm in high school sometimes and it makes me pretty upset... it isn't real fun to think about how stupid you were back then... that's basically all i see when i look back- i was just a stupid kid. i'm still a stupid kid.
goddamn the internet....

autumn you are welcome here

at last. it's finally come. i'd hoped it would and now it has. we had to put the comforter back on the bed because it was too cold at night. hallelujah! comforting, eh? sorry, i had to...
*ahem*
so far employment prospects are not too bad. i have an interview at that place in deerfield on monday- the call center one that involves a lot of data entry and involves calls that aren't sales calls. i'm just hoping it isn't logging complaints or something like that. that would kind of suck. it's a month of paid training anyway, which to me means if i don't like it i can leave. if that doesn't work out i talked to susan at beans and bagels (the coffee shop we frequented before going to lorna's every morning) and she said that if i haven't found anything by then that she'd like to hire me there after oct. 1st. business is supposed to pick back up there around then because of the construction on the montrose brown line stop (which beans and bagels is directly underneath). i have coffee shop experience and i know what i'd be in for there. this has at least helped to rid me of sleepless nights (of which there've been a few) for both me and stefanie.
i have $1 and assorted change in my pocket- this is the last of my cash. i have money in my bank account but i am holding onto it so that i can pay the minimum amount on my credit card. after that there will really be nothing. yipes.
i've been trying to keep myself busy. tomorrow i'm helping jay move stuff to the new bird machine space in skokie. heavy lifting and van driving woohoo! he is going to give me gas and beer i've heard. there was talk of food and money as well.
the ep is coming along nicely. i ordered the lightbulbs that i needed to start printing the tracklisting. it's coming down to the wire and i do hope that they're ready in time for the show at the radish patch a week from tomorrow. sadly, it looks like i can't get hannah or brendan to lend some stringed instrument help for this show. quite a shame as james will be there and i'm going to ask him to record it on video for us so we can have a copy and ideally finally have some decent acoustic show recordings with strings (which are a bit elusive). there are the two from cal's bar, but stefanie's vocals are practically inaudible in both of them and the cello is only moderately audible.
we also just got a show at permanent records on oct. 27th. looking forward to that. yes, indeedy.
erm... that's about it i think. i should probably get to bed since i have to be up early tomorrow.

today's lesson is...

... to work keep working on the record. always. this will be essential to getting through the unemployment period while retaining my sanity.
today i had a meltdown after going in to chase to fill out a ton of paperwork and get my fingerprints. said paperwork included extensive background checks- full residence and employment records for the last 7 years with every second accounted for. i got a few little things wrong but it doesn't really matter since none of the apartments i've lived in for the last seven years have had any utilities in my name. i ran a background check on myself once and nothing came up at all. there was also a handwriting analysis section that involved writing in cursive which i haven't done since i was about 10.
so tomorrow i'm going to try and get some work done on the record and hopefully more info will come out about this other job that the temp agency is looking into for me- it's a call center/data entry type position. it involves phone work but it also has a month of paid training. you can't really go wrong in trying that out. it is all the way out in deerfield, though- but it's metra accessible. we shall see.
i'm going to get back to dvd extras and such like. i'm wearing a lucky charms hat that my dad gave me from his trip to seattle. i saw someone wearing the same lucky charms hat on the train today...

anothah!

10 years ago

1.) How old were you?: 18

2.) Where did you go to school? i had been accepted to columbia college here in chicago but the semester hadn't started yet.

3) Where did you work?: i might've already quit all three of my summer jobs. that's right- i had three jobs that summer- i worked all three for about two weeks. one- busser at leawood country club, two- some kind of errand boy for my dad's company, three- desk clerk at oxford cleaners- the deadest dry-cleaning store i've ever seen.

4) Where did you live?: old leawood, kansas. for you out of towner's it's an affluent suburb south of kansas city.

5.) Where did you hang out? mike's house. before that it was elizabeth's house a lot too but she'd gone away to school by then.

6.) Did you wear glasses? yes.

7.) Who was your best friend?: mike

8.) How many tattoos did you have?: none

9.) How many piercings did you have? none

10) What car did you drive?: mazda mx-6 (named 'darcy')

11.) Had you been to a real party? yes.

12.) Had You had your heart broken? in a high school way several times. in a real 'my life is over' kind of way- never.


-----------5 years ago-----------

1.) How old were you?: 23

2.) Where did you go to school?: i didn't go to school anymore.

3.) Where did you work?: hee hee- i worked at the oregon zoo.

4.) Where did you live? a tiny, overpriced studio apartment in southeast portland.

5.) Where did you hang out? the pied cow, kennedy school, jackpot records, everyday music, powell's, etc.

6.) Did you wear glasses? yes. always.

7.) Who was your best friend?: mike.

9.) How many tattoos did you have?: none

10.) How many piercings did you have? none

11.) What car did you drive?: a green 1999 honda civic (named 'lem')

12.) Taken/Single/Married/Divorced?: quite taken.

----------------2 years ago-------------------

1.) How old were you?: 26

2.) Where did you go to school?: nowhere.

3.) Where did you work?: i think i might've just gotten the data entry job at CEDA

4.) Where did you live?: a tiny, overpriced studio above the congress theater in logan square.

5.) Where did you hang out?: alliance bakery, myopic books, quimby's, reckless records, etc.

6.) Did you wear glasses?: yes. always.

7.) Who was your best friend?: mike.

8.) How many tattoos did you have?: none

9.) How many piercings did you have? none

10.) What car did you drive?: a white 1995 chevy g-20 child-molester van complete with hippie stickers (named 'big momma')

11.) Had your heart broken?: not in a long time.

12.) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce?: just married.

--------------------Today--------------------

1.) How old are you?: 28

2.) Where do you go to school? nowhere

3.) Where do you work? i might have just landed a job at jp morgan chase- i think i'll know by tomorrow...

4.) Where do you live.? a roomy, cheap 1-bedroom apartment in edgewater.

5.) Do you wear glasses? yes. of course. moron.

6.) Where do you hang out? metropolis coffeehouse, beans and bagels. chipotle, a bevvy of record stores and the like...

7.) Do you talk to your old friends? mike and billy are still my best friends. i talked to elizabeth a fair amount up until about a year ago. i talk to dmitriy a little. we see claire every now and again.

8). Who are your best friends/close friends? mike and billy

9.) How many tattoos?: none.

10.) What kind of car do you have? same old big momma...

12.) Are you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce? still married.

why do i do these again?

interview pt 2

my interview that was supposed to be yesterday was cancelled and rescheduled for this afternoon. i was real nervous yesterday. today i'm a bit less worried. i got my application all filled out yesterday in anticipation for the interview. now i'm not so worried since it's already done.
more word later.

want to be sick?

just looking at this makes me ill. it came up in a google.

http://www.myspace.com/smeast1997

just looking through this makes me nauseous... what a bummer- i thought that i'd missed it...

i fucking quit

yes, that's right- i quit my job today. i left an answering machine message. it wasn't rude, but it wasn't really nice either. within two hours i also got an interview set up for a seasonal data entry job. it will probably be a 3rd shift job. the interview is with someone from a staffing firm, so i'm guessing that it'll be a bit of a formality. i applied for what i would describe as my ideal job the other night- a full-time data entry job that pays $12.75 an hour to start. holy shit! i also applied at whole foods.
i should be more freaked out i guess, but having an interview set up already for a job where they just need warm bodies i feel like things will be fine. i'm not real worried at all. it actually feels incredibly good to have just up and quit and decided not to take any more shit.
what facilitated this? well, my review was yesterday and it was basically the owner asking me questions that i would describe as traps- a question where any answer you give is going to reflect poorly on you. it got off to a really bad start because it was facilitated by a small mistake i made on an order i'd taken which was one of about 4 times that i've answered the phone in three or so weeks. basically it was all very nitpicky crap that any other boss probably wouldn't be that concerned about and would probably say 'this is a simple mistake. try to keep these to a minimum.' instead i got told about how my owner didn't feel comfortable with the idea of me answering the phone. she asked me why i was still answering it after the lovely meeting mentioned in the entry below and i wanted to say 'because how is that fair to my co-workers?' because it isn't, but that's not really something you want to say to your boss who has you under a microscope at all times. at one point i was scolded for not knowing the address (which i actually do, zipcode and all), phone number and email address (which i also know) by heart. all of that information is written at the top of every order form anyway. then there was another dreaded phone call where someone called asking if there was an alternate email address because the one that they sent was returned to them. i asked the manager (most immature unprofessional full-of-crap-know-it-all i've ever met in my life) if there was one besides the obvious one and she told me no, so i got back on the phone and told the woman who had called to just try it again and make sure to get the spelling right and to remember that it's a .net address instead of a .com one. i got in trouble in my review for this as well and was scolded about it at great length basically because i didn't talk to this woman like she was a fucking dunce. once again when asked to respond i couldn't really think of a good answer since the real answer was 'well, i don't make it a practice to talk to people i don't know like they're stupid.' people make spelling errors and get confused. it happens. just try again. the owner spent a good five minutes chewing me out about this and all of the stuff that i didn't say which was all relayed to her by the manager. the manager also took it upon herself to fill in the gaps with her own interpretations just to make me look extra stupid. that's another thing about them- if you don't agree with their point of view you're stupid and i'm quite positive that they always thought i was stupid. how are you supposed to broach this with the person who signs your paychecks? it's just not appropriate and if it were it would kind of undermine the whole system of authority anyway. and yet the owner, a very type-a person who expects everything down to the teeniest tiniest detail- expects people to perform every task exactly as she wants it done without telling us anything and she expects us in our reviews to be upfront and honest with her about any of our problems that we have with her. what do you say to a person like that? 'you should consider therapy and psychotropic drugs because you have problems'? try doing that when you're already in hot water. i ended up just deflecting all of her other questions because i just didn't want to say anything to screw myself any further.
so then on the walk home i ranted and raved and bitched and informed stefanie that i'm flipping a coin to determine if i should go in the next day or not. this is something i always do with difficult decisions that either option is equally daunting. example- when i went to see the pixies i flipped a coin to see if i should go because i didn't have a ticket and was worried about my car making it down to eugene. it told me to go. i got in and am really glad that i went. i flipped a coin to see if i should go ahead and buy a fender jaguar with a new paypal credit card. it told me to buy it. i bought it and paid it off in full without much interest and now it is an indispensible addition to my pile of equipment. i flipped a coin to see if i should have stefanie sing on a song i wasn't sure if she should sing on. it told me not to have her sing on it. i ignored it and had her sing anyway and we ended up getting into a two-day-long fight about the lyrics. i flipped a coin to see if i should quit or not. it told me to quit. i'd be damned if i was going to go against it after the last time i ignored the coin toss. so i didn't go in and now i feel fantastic.
brothers and sisters this has been the first boon to my confidence level and self-worth that i've had in over six or seven months. i have realised that i have the power to improve my own situation and that if i feel like i need to get out of a negative situation i will know when it is beyond my obligations to stay and leave so as not to incur further self-worth damage. working with two such unstable, unpredictable type-a personalities was doing a number on my self-worth. i've contemplated suicide more times that i care to delve into here over the last two weeks than is healthy. the nicest thing is that i have that interview and very real job possibility looming over me so a great deal of the pressure has been removed from the situation. i can still apply for other jobs and any other interviews i score will just give me more options.
here's the capper- stefanie came home regaling me with some hilarious tidbits. the owner was completely shocked at this turn of events- she said that she has no idea what happened. no. idea. stefanie told her that i've never walked out of a job this way in my entire life. i should probably shed a light on the phone message i left- it basically was like 'hello, this is tyler. i'm calling to let you know that i'm not coming in today because i went home last night and spent most of the night thinking about everything that's gone down so far and the way that i've been treated and i decided that i've had enough. i would've come in to tell you this face to face but it's not something i really care to discuss any further than this. so, i quit.' so two roastings in the owner still doesn't know what the problem was. after dissecting literally every tiny mistake i've ever made working there (trust me i've never gotten away with a single one without a decent ribbing) she didn't understand why someone would take offense to any of it or not want to subject themselves to such an environment. the irony is that she was always expecting us to fill in the blanks that she left when she'd talk to us, but she doesn't seem to be capable of doing so herself.

too many folkers

i have now reached my limit for this new breed of folkies. i don't know why, but i reach a point where i just can't stand to hear anymore quirky, funny, uplifting, life-affirming music played by grubby looking barefooted/flip-flop clad people on acoustic guitars. this is not good considering the fact that we're committed to playing two quiet acoustic shows, undoubtedly with other folkies. i liked pretty much everything that we heard at the show tonight at the radish patch- i especially liked seeing mike's friend from mtsu- he was my favourite part of the night actually- but i just can't take it anymore.
the show started an hour and a half late and two extra people had hopped onto the bill that night. this brought the count of performers to six. that's too many. even if they're all good that's going to grate after a while. i wouldn't even want to see slint, low, sigur ros, mogwai, my bloody valentine and the brian jonestown massacre in one sitting. even in a group like that there has to be a low-point and a fatigue point.
plus we took mass transit to the show- which worked well on the way there- actually quite smooth it was- but extremely horrible on the way back. as in it took about 40 minutes on the way there are over an hour and a half on the way back. the conclusion- if anyone reading this is a chicago resident take note- if you're taking the redline south to get anywhere that is off of the blue line it is ALWAYS faster to transfer from the red line to a westbound bus. this goes double on weekends. literally. on the way there we took the train south to fullerton and then got off and transferred to the fullerton bus and got off about a five minute walk from the venue. on the way home we walked to the western blue line stop where we had to board the blue line shuttle (which is a bus that makes stops near all of the blue line stations between western and clark/lake because they're doing construction between those two stations during the weekend nights), sit for fifteen minutes not moving, get stuck trying to get through "the crotch" (which for you non-residents is the biggest mess of a six corners in the city- which is where north, damen and milwaukee ave all converge- it's always a mess) for a while, get off at state/lake and then wait for the red line train for 25 minutes which then (once it arrived) sat at the station for another 10 minutes because they're also doing construction on the northbound platform so on the weekend nights they have it run on the northbound platform, but you have to wait until it's clear thus delaying people going both ways, and then crawl through the "slow zone" once back on the regular northbound platform from armitage to addison on which they are ALSO doing construction. in addition to all of this construction they're doing construction on four brown line stations (including the one that we used to use to get to work back when it used to be easier to transfer to the brown line at belmont to get there) at the same time. not only that but they're also working on at least four stops on the south side where the service was already worse than the service on the north side before they started construction. another tidbit for you non-chicagoans- they started all of this construction- none of which will be done before december of 2008- which slowed all of the service down causing tons of riders to quit riding mass transit and drive instead and realised that they needed 98 million dollars from the state to keep it running at the pathetic rate that it is currently "running" at. maybe it would've been a good idea NOT to do construction on three lines all at the same time and be locked in to doing so until december of 2009. 2009 people- more than two years away. the solution offered in their catchy phrase 'leave early. leave late. alternate.' sounds nice doesn't it? what the fuck does it mean? 'we don't give a fuck about our customers, take them for granted and think that they're all idiots' is my interpretation. so basically that was it. after all of this though, the drunk dude who puked in our car and the two drunken beef man steak motherfuckers who were such boners that they made the pretty red-headed woman they were out with cry on the train seemed like minor annoyances. it was like a fucking odyssey. i'm sorry- if you spend an hour and a half riding mass transit around you'd better be able to get out of the train and step off into the fucking countryside. or at least in the suburbs.

to report?

it's tough to say if i have anything to report. we went to the ten cat for becca's birthday party last night. that was a lot of fun. her viola playing friend, brendan, who we'd met before was there, which was good because i was going to ask becca for his contact info as when we were at becca's 4th of july party stefanie and i were doing 'jennifer' on an acoustic guitar and he joined in and made something up to play along with to it and he'd never heard the song before. this is something i appreciate very much so, so naturally i wanted to get in touch with him because i have a few songs that i thought might be more well-suited to violin rather than cello and i wanted someone who could make up their own part for them rather than have to write the whole thing out. i'm not sure if these two tracks will become anything, but one definitely has some hope. what's more i've been toying with the idea of doing more three-part string parts for album number four (yes, i am that far ahead- a few songs are nearly finished). a viola would be nice to fill in the middle.
so we'll see how that goes. hopefully it will work out really well.
other than that we didn't do jack today. we did go downtown and i bought a silk-screening kit. i can't use it until i get some transparencies to print the text onto. i typed up the text in the arrangement i wanted today, so now i just need to get the transparencies and give the whole thing a try. i hope that i can do a decent job at this. only time will tell. lots of people do these well, so with some practise i should be fine.
the arigato paks have been ordered as well and the cds are being shipped on monday. it's possible that they will both come at the same time. exciting!

lookout- i'm closing in

the vocals for the third album are almost finished. there are two left that stefanie and i must sing together, and then there are another three that i still have to sing alone. this is quite exciting as it's been a long time coming and it's seemed so overpowering and impossible up until now. tomorrow after work will be a pretty busy time- gots to go to tha bank and then to a fedex kinko's to fax a resume. i applied for two file clerk jobs tonight. i really do hope i get one of them. even the temp-to-perm one i would take over what i'm doing now. it pays better (not by much, but it still pays better and there is the opportunity for overtime which i do like).
i have earmarked about $100 to buy the arigato paks and a silkscreening kit to hopefully finish the ep. hopefully. i'm going to buy the silk-screening kit asap and order the paks so that i can practice silk-screening until the paks come in the mail. i may even look into doing a research study or something like that to help pay for all of the equipment i am going to need to finish this album. namely i just need some more microphones. i actually wanted to try and use more than two mics to record the drum tracks, which is why most of them haven't been done yet. i am quite happy with the drum tracks that we've done already, but i think that they can be even better if i get more mics and find ways to experiment with different drum sounds. i am going to need more mics anyway to finish the guitars too. i would like to get a vox ac30 as well to finish the guitar tracks. this is quite a longshot, but i might as well suck it up and buy one now and get it out of the way. it is also possible that i will need to use one of those effects processors that rounds out the low end and gives it huge definition and presence when i'm mixing. not on everything just on a few real bottom-heavy tracks. i was going to use it on the drums to make the table more prominent but not overpowering or mushy sounding. we shall see. o yes.
today i got horribly and awfully depressed by some offhand comments that kylie made at work today. when she first met me she sized me up in about five minutes and i feel like she's never really looked at me past that first impression (it was not a good one- she totally talked down to me and treated me like a huge dumbass), which isn't cool because she has me pegged completely wrong in the same way that most people do. for some reason i make a bad first impression and i don't really know why this is. i think that it's because i'm reserved and reserve tends to be mistaken for a feeling of superiority or rampant arrogance and egotism. i don't know why this is. it's a shame, that's for sure because reserve isn't like that at all. it's something called MODESTY and HUMILITY.
so then i got into suicidal self-loathing mode, which is never fun and then that gets me into fatalistic mode and i need to not succumb to that stuff right now- i have a lot to do and i have to remind myself that things are going well and i shouldn't be discouraged.
listened to the for carnation tonight. burned it to cd. it's kind of a crime that i'd only listened to it once since i'd bought it. i'm burning the first slint album to cd right now as well- another record i overlooked completely. for some reason i'm having to play catch up with all of the awesome stuff that i bought when i was living in portland- lee hazlewood is the perfect example of this. i listened to 'cowboy in sweden' once after i bought it and had put it in the pile of records to burn to cd and dragged it out after he died and, lo and behold, i love the crap out of it! his production is intoxicating- especially the way he uses strings and the arrangements/arrangers he uses. wow. it's a goal of mine to be able to write string arrangements of that caliber. i've already got the weird harmonic sense going for me. rock on.
stefanie and i are doing a cover of 'leather and lace' at one of our upcoming shows. i'd like it if we could get hannah involved but i don't think that's going to happen since we won't have enough time to practise with her before these shows since she's leaving the country and all.

how many people fill out lame surveys while listening to bob dylan?

just me i guess...

OW MANY BATHING SUITS DO YOU OWN?
1

HOW MUCH IS YOUR MONTHLY CAR INSURANCE?
$75

EVER WEAR A TIE?
yes, but only for special occasions.

PLAYSTATION OR NINTENDO?
nintendo

CAN YOU SING?
yes.

WHERE IS YOUR DREAM WEDDING LOCATION?
i guess in a backyard in kansas city in the middle of july.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT
i tend to go to kansas city on vacations. anywhere, really...

HOW OLD IS YOUR COMPUTER?
about 3 years maybe? (it's not really mine)

DO YOU FART OUTLOUD IN PUBLIC?
i do at work sometimes, but i try to keep it quiet and classy.

WHO DO YOU CARRY PICTURES OF IN YOUR WALLET/PURSE?
no one.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE JELL-O SHOTS?
no.

WHAT WOKE YOU UP THIS MORNING?
my alarm.

WHO IS WORSE: BRITANY OR LINDSEY?
britney.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?
yes.

IS SOMEONE IN THE ROOM WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?
no.

EVER BEEN INSIDE A COLLEGE DORM?
yes.

DO YOU KNOW ALL 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD?
no- i think i know two or three. maybe four.

WHAT�S YOUR FAVORITE CRAYON IN THE CRAYON BOX?
magenta.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE THING RIGHT THIS MINUTE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
$10,000

HAVE YOU SEEN ALL 6 STAR WARS MOVIES?
yes.

THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT YOU HAVE RECEIVED?
my parents bought me a guitar for my 23rd birthday.

IS YOUR CLOSET ORGANIZED?
yes, but none of the clothes in it ever get worn.

DO YOU DOWNLOAD GAMES FOR YOUR CELL PHONE?
no.

FAVORITE SODA?
dr. pepper.

EVER TRY WAXING?
fuck no.

WOULD YOU SWITCH CARS WITH YOUR MOM?
no.

DO YOU PUT FRUIT IN YOUR BEER?
orange in the blue moon. lemon in the hezeweizen.

HOW MANY DRINKS IS TOO MANY?
8.

SCARIEST SCARY MOVIE?
i'm a lightweight. 'the shining.'

EVER BEEN TO A DRIVE IN MOVIE?
no.

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO DRIVE?
my dad.

DO YOU PREFER TO RENT OR BUY DVD�s
rent.

PANCAKES OR WAFFLES?
pancakes.

WOULD YOU HAVE A PET PIG?
sure- but i don't think my cats would like that.

EVER WEAR HAIR EXTENSIONS?
no.

HAVE YOU EVER CRAWLED THROUGH A WINDOW?
yes.

ARE YOU IN A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP?
no.

LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A TANNING BED?
never.

WHEN DID YOU LAST TAKE A BUBBLE BATH?
i think i might've been five.

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ANY OF YOUR MYSPACE FRIENDS?
no.

BEST CARTOON VILLAIN?
skeletor. duh.

DID YOU VOTE IN THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION?
yes.

YOUR THOUGHTS ON HOOTERS?
i like breasts. i do not like loud, trashy, drunk white people. i despise the chain of this name. what sexist shit.

some work done

today i got some work done finally. it's been a bit of a slump for at least the last week or so. i did get some work done for the 3rd album today. very nice. i realised that i was supposed to try and finish a track that i'm working on as quick as possible just to see how long it takes to finish a track from this album. so far it has acoustic guitars, vocals (but with no reverb added yet), electric guitar, organ and a backwards guitar figure pitched up that i did today. it took me about an hour or so to get it to work. the signal through the mixer kept dying and i turned the fan off and it was so unbelievable sweltering today and that room is quite the little hotbox when the fan isn't on. basically sweat was dripping off of me the entire time i was in there. i think i started to see stars towards the end. but i got it finished and it sounded the way i wanted it to. yay! now this track just needs strings- i was going to try to do a three part string arrangement and only the cello part is written at this moment- and drums and i might have stefanie do some 'ooohs' or something... not sure. the cello won't be recorded until after hannah gets back from japan. the drums i might hold back on until i can buy some new mics to help get a little variation in there. the 'ooohs' i'm not even sure will go in there. there's already a lot going on as it is.
i also did a good version of a song that i thought was dead, but was revived last week. i reworked all of the chords and the tuning, while still using the original idea if that makes any sense. it worked really well. i did two guitar parts and dug out my old yamaha keyboard to have something to keep time to build the track over until we can record the drums. there isn't a loop for it at all. there isn't one for the other song i worked on today either. this reworked song- called 'into grey' for practical discussion- was always kind of intended to be shelved once it was finished. i wasn't even sure i was ever going to bother to record for a long time until i reworked the music and now it's kind of in contention for the record. it has three verses and a long chorus. it even kind of has a guitar hook if you can imagine it. the guitars i recorded today were originally intended to be scratch tracks, but i was so happy with the rhythm guitar and all of the feedback that i got at the beginning that i decided to try the lead guitar too and they both turned out so well i might just keep them. i am in love with my fender twin- it can howl like nothing else and exactly the way i want it to now. i turned on the distortion and it wasn't as loud as the clean sound from the amp. the clean sound was all rowdy and crazy. perfect! i'd been in a bad mood from all of the mixer fuckups and i'd had to drive stefanie out to the montrose blue line station because she went to a yarn show at the convention center at rosemont and i had a bad time driving there and back. driving here it's usually okay and i'm fairly used to it at this point, but when you have a bad day driving here you have a BAD DAY DRIVING. there is no inbetween. the worst is when you have a really awful time driving and then you finally get home and you have to find someplace to park and that goes badly too. i was pissed when i got out of the car. but then i ended up in a fabulous mood after getting all of this unexpected work done. nice.
got a bunch of new albums for real cheap today. got 'automatic' by jamc, pixies b sides collection and 'this shit is genius' by dillinger four all for $1 each and then i got four vinyl albums for $1 too- i got the first two patti smith albums and that brian eno/david byrne album and a tom waits album that might be kind of hard to find- the 'one from the heart' soundtrack. probably not hard to find- probably the kind of record people give away. for 25 cents even!
i also got the ghost to falco record that i ordered in the mail. i'm in new music right now. yay! i should probably save a little money to spend at dave's records with this next paycheck. i doubt it'll happen as all of that money is spoken for at this point. i'm going to look for more lee hazlewood records though. he is my new obsession. you betcha! figured out the chords to 'leather and lace' today as well. i got a chord sheet for it through a google but it was in the wrong key. i'd like to figure out the string arrangement (good fucking luck) just to see how it works and such and since it's a good example of the kind of string arrangements i'd like to figure out how to write. we're also going to cover it live at one of our upcoming shows. neither of them are finalized yet, but they'll both be acoustic affairs with no p.a. goodnight then!