yeah, i'm done. my energy for begging for shows is gone. i just don't have the moxie, likability, social skills to be bugging booking people all over town to add us onto shows. seriously, i've had it. i don't think i can send another email about this stuff... it's amazing to me that we have this amazing record we're sitting on and no one will let us play. i'm aware already that it doesn't have to do with how good the music, how well we play live or even whether or not we have a draw. it's purely that we don't know the right people and aren't social beings. we aren't going out to venues every night and befriending bar-tenders and ingratiating ourselves to the right kind of people who are running things. to be quite frank i still have no interest in it. if i were the type of person who were capable of such things, then by all means i'd be out there kissing as much ass as i could, but sadly i'm not a social person at all. i am not a charming person. i am a very reserved and humble person and it's just not in my nature to go around being witty, charming and sociable with people i don't know and probably can't trust. i'm convinced now that if i were we would probably be one of the biggest bands in the little indie underground. it's a bummer too because i know that the price for my introverted nature is basically that i'm going to have to resign myself to the fact that i'm just going to be relegated to releasing records on my own while supporting myself with a day job and accept that my music will barely reach anyone.
as i'm writing about this i'm just sick about it. it appears that we most likely will not be playing at the empty bottle on the 18th of april. i have nothing else going at the moment, i have no ideas as to where to go next- all of my reliable contacts have dried up and new venues that have cropped up won't even return my messages. what to do? not sure...
so now here i am with 300 newly pressed records and no shows to play to promote them. i'm not real sure what to do. i'd like to get some help with this dilemma, but who's going to bother to give me the time of day about my band in the first place, nevermind do all of our dirty work for us. i guess i shouldn't give up hope just yet, i'm just completely out of energy. i'm only one person and i can only do so much... i just got the screen for the back covers done the other day.
i'm thinking of doing some kind of film project like 'thee hounds of foggy notion.' but what good would that do? i don't know- it's just kind of weird. i'm just so out of ideas that it's not even funny...
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