want to be sick?

just looking at this makes me ill. it came up in a google.

http://www.myspace.com/smeast1997

just looking through this makes me nauseous... what a bummer- i thought that i'd missed it...

i fucking quit

yes, that's right- i quit my job today. i left an answering machine message. it wasn't rude, but it wasn't really nice either. within two hours i also got an interview set up for a seasonal data entry job. it will probably be a 3rd shift job. the interview is with someone from a staffing firm, so i'm guessing that it'll be a bit of a formality. i applied for what i would describe as my ideal job the other night- a full-time data entry job that pays $12.75 an hour to start. holy shit! i also applied at whole foods.
i should be more freaked out i guess, but having an interview set up already for a job where they just need warm bodies i feel like things will be fine. i'm not real worried at all. it actually feels incredibly good to have just up and quit and decided not to take any more shit.
what facilitated this? well, my review was yesterday and it was basically the owner asking me questions that i would describe as traps- a question where any answer you give is going to reflect poorly on you. it got off to a really bad start because it was facilitated by a small mistake i made on an order i'd taken which was one of about 4 times that i've answered the phone in three or so weeks. basically it was all very nitpicky crap that any other boss probably wouldn't be that concerned about and would probably say 'this is a simple mistake. try to keep these to a minimum.' instead i got told about how my owner didn't feel comfortable with the idea of me answering the phone. she asked me why i was still answering it after the lovely meeting mentioned in the entry below and i wanted to say 'because how is that fair to my co-workers?' because it isn't, but that's not really something you want to say to your boss who has you under a microscope at all times. at one point i was scolded for not knowing the address (which i actually do, zipcode and all), phone number and email address (which i also know) by heart. all of that information is written at the top of every order form anyway. then there was another dreaded phone call where someone called asking if there was an alternate email address because the one that they sent was returned to them. i asked the manager (most immature unprofessional full-of-crap-know-it-all i've ever met in my life) if there was one besides the obvious one and she told me no, so i got back on the phone and told the woman who had called to just try it again and make sure to get the spelling right and to remember that it's a .net address instead of a .com one. i got in trouble in my review for this as well and was scolded about it at great length basically because i didn't talk to this woman like she was a fucking dunce. once again when asked to respond i couldn't really think of a good answer since the real answer was 'well, i don't make it a practice to talk to people i don't know like they're stupid.' people make spelling errors and get confused. it happens. just try again. the owner spent a good five minutes chewing me out about this and all of the stuff that i didn't say which was all relayed to her by the manager. the manager also took it upon herself to fill in the gaps with her own interpretations just to make me look extra stupid. that's another thing about them- if you don't agree with their point of view you're stupid and i'm quite positive that they always thought i was stupid. how are you supposed to broach this with the person who signs your paychecks? it's just not appropriate and if it were it would kind of undermine the whole system of authority anyway. and yet the owner, a very type-a person who expects everything down to the teeniest tiniest detail- expects people to perform every task exactly as she wants it done without telling us anything and she expects us in our reviews to be upfront and honest with her about any of our problems that we have with her. what do you say to a person like that? 'you should consider therapy and psychotropic drugs because you have problems'? try doing that when you're already in hot water. i ended up just deflecting all of her other questions because i just didn't want to say anything to screw myself any further.
so then on the walk home i ranted and raved and bitched and informed stefanie that i'm flipping a coin to determine if i should go in the next day or not. this is something i always do with difficult decisions that either option is equally daunting. example- when i went to see the pixies i flipped a coin to see if i should go because i didn't have a ticket and was worried about my car making it down to eugene. it told me to go. i got in and am really glad that i went. i flipped a coin to see if i should go ahead and buy a fender jaguar with a new paypal credit card. it told me to buy it. i bought it and paid it off in full without much interest and now it is an indispensible addition to my pile of equipment. i flipped a coin to see if i should have stefanie sing on a song i wasn't sure if she should sing on. it told me not to have her sing on it. i ignored it and had her sing anyway and we ended up getting into a two-day-long fight about the lyrics. i flipped a coin to see if i should quit or not. it told me to quit. i'd be damned if i was going to go against it after the last time i ignored the coin toss. so i didn't go in and now i feel fantastic.
brothers and sisters this has been the first boon to my confidence level and self-worth that i've had in over six or seven months. i have realised that i have the power to improve my own situation and that if i feel like i need to get out of a negative situation i will know when it is beyond my obligations to stay and leave so as not to incur further self-worth damage. working with two such unstable, unpredictable type-a personalities was doing a number on my self-worth. i've contemplated suicide more times that i care to delve into here over the last two weeks than is healthy. the nicest thing is that i have that interview and very real job possibility looming over me so a great deal of the pressure has been removed from the situation. i can still apply for other jobs and any other interviews i score will just give me more options.
here's the capper- stefanie came home regaling me with some hilarious tidbits. the owner was completely shocked at this turn of events- she said that she has no idea what happened. no. idea. stefanie told her that i've never walked out of a job this way in my entire life. i should probably shed a light on the phone message i left- it basically was like 'hello, this is tyler. i'm calling to let you know that i'm not coming in today because i went home last night and spent most of the night thinking about everything that's gone down so far and the way that i've been treated and i decided that i've had enough. i would've come in to tell you this face to face but it's not something i really care to discuss any further than this. so, i quit.' so two roastings in the owner still doesn't know what the problem was. after dissecting literally every tiny mistake i've ever made working there (trust me i've never gotten away with a single one without a decent ribbing) she didn't understand why someone would take offense to any of it or not want to subject themselves to such an environment. the irony is that she was always expecting us to fill in the blanks that she left when she'd talk to us, but she doesn't seem to be capable of doing so herself.

too many folkers

i have now reached my limit for this new breed of folkies. i don't know why, but i reach a point where i just can't stand to hear anymore quirky, funny, uplifting, life-affirming music played by grubby looking barefooted/flip-flop clad people on acoustic guitars. this is not good considering the fact that we're committed to playing two quiet acoustic shows, undoubtedly with other folkies. i liked pretty much everything that we heard at the show tonight at the radish patch- i especially liked seeing mike's friend from mtsu- he was my favourite part of the night actually- but i just can't take it anymore.
the show started an hour and a half late and two extra people had hopped onto the bill that night. this brought the count of performers to six. that's too many. even if they're all good that's going to grate after a while. i wouldn't even want to see slint, low, sigur ros, mogwai, my bloody valentine and the brian jonestown massacre in one sitting. even in a group like that there has to be a low-point and a fatigue point.
plus we took mass transit to the show- which worked well on the way there- actually quite smooth it was- but extremely horrible on the way back. as in it took about 40 minutes on the way there are over an hour and a half on the way back. the conclusion- if anyone reading this is a chicago resident take note- if you're taking the redline south to get anywhere that is off of the blue line it is ALWAYS faster to transfer from the red line to a westbound bus. this goes double on weekends. literally. on the way there we took the train south to fullerton and then got off and transferred to the fullerton bus and got off about a five minute walk from the venue. on the way home we walked to the western blue line stop where we had to board the blue line shuttle (which is a bus that makes stops near all of the blue line stations between western and clark/lake because they're doing construction between those two stations during the weekend nights), sit for fifteen minutes not moving, get stuck trying to get through "the crotch" (which for you non-residents is the biggest mess of a six corners in the city- which is where north, damen and milwaukee ave all converge- it's always a mess) for a while, get off at state/lake and then wait for the red line train for 25 minutes which then (once it arrived) sat at the station for another 10 minutes because they're also doing construction on the northbound platform so on the weekend nights they have it run on the northbound platform, but you have to wait until it's clear thus delaying people going both ways, and then crawl through the "slow zone" once back on the regular northbound platform from armitage to addison on which they are ALSO doing construction. in addition to all of this construction they're doing construction on four brown line stations (including the one that we used to use to get to work back when it used to be easier to transfer to the brown line at belmont to get there) at the same time. not only that but they're also working on at least four stops on the south side where the service was already worse than the service on the north side before they started construction. another tidbit for you non-chicagoans- they started all of this construction- none of which will be done before december of 2008- which slowed all of the service down causing tons of riders to quit riding mass transit and drive instead and realised that they needed 98 million dollars from the state to keep it running at the pathetic rate that it is currently "running" at. maybe it would've been a good idea NOT to do construction on three lines all at the same time and be locked in to doing so until december of 2009. 2009 people- more than two years away. the solution offered in their catchy phrase 'leave early. leave late. alternate.' sounds nice doesn't it? what the fuck does it mean? 'we don't give a fuck about our customers, take them for granted and think that they're all idiots' is my interpretation. so basically that was it. after all of this though, the drunk dude who puked in our car and the two drunken beef man steak motherfuckers who were such boners that they made the pretty red-headed woman they were out with cry on the train seemed like minor annoyances. it was like a fucking odyssey. i'm sorry- if you spend an hour and a half riding mass transit around you'd better be able to get out of the train and step off into the fucking countryside. or at least in the suburbs.

to report?

it's tough to say if i have anything to report. we went to the ten cat for becca's birthday party last night. that was a lot of fun. her viola playing friend, brendan, who we'd met before was there, which was good because i was going to ask becca for his contact info as when we were at becca's 4th of july party stefanie and i were doing 'jennifer' on an acoustic guitar and he joined in and made something up to play along with to it and he'd never heard the song before. this is something i appreciate very much so, so naturally i wanted to get in touch with him because i have a few songs that i thought might be more well-suited to violin rather than cello and i wanted someone who could make up their own part for them rather than have to write the whole thing out. i'm not sure if these two tracks will become anything, but one definitely has some hope. what's more i've been toying with the idea of doing more three-part string parts for album number four (yes, i am that far ahead- a few songs are nearly finished). a viola would be nice to fill in the middle.
so we'll see how that goes. hopefully it will work out really well.
other than that we didn't do jack today. we did go downtown and i bought a silk-screening kit. i can't use it until i get some transparencies to print the text onto. i typed up the text in the arrangement i wanted today, so now i just need to get the transparencies and give the whole thing a try. i hope that i can do a decent job at this. only time will tell. lots of people do these well, so with some practise i should be fine.
the arigato paks have been ordered as well and the cds are being shipped on monday. it's possible that they will both come at the same time. exciting!

lookout- i'm closing in

the vocals for the third album are almost finished. there are two left that stefanie and i must sing together, and then there are another three that i still have to sing alone. this is quite exciting as it's been a long time coming and it's seemed so overpowering and impossible up until now. tomorrow after work will be a pretty busy time- gots to go to tha bank and then to a fedex kinko's to fax a resume. i applied for two file clerk jobs tonight. i really do hope i get one of them. even the temp-to-perm one i would take over what i'm doing now. it pays better (not by much, but it still pays better and there is the opportunity for overtime which i do like).
i have earmarked about $100 to buy the arigato paks and a silkscreening kit to hopefully finish the ep. hopefully. i'm going to buy the silk-screening kit asap and order the paks so that i can practice silk-screening until the paks come in the mail. i may even look into doing a research study or something like that to help pay for all of the equipment i am going to need to finish this album. namely i just need some more microphones. i actually wanted to try and use more than two mics to record the drum tracks, which is why most of them haven't been done yet. i am quite happy with the drum tracks that we've done already, but i think that they can be even better if i get more mics and find ways to experiment with different drum sounds. i am going to need more mics anyway to finish the guitars too. i would like to get a vox ac30 as well to finish the guitar tracks. this is quite a longshot, but i might as well suck it up and buy one now and get it out of the way. it is also possible that i will need to use one of those effects processors that rounds out the low end and gives it huge definition and presence when i'm mixing. not on everything just on a few real bottom-heavy tracks. i was going to use it on the drums to make the table more prominent but not overpowering or mushy sounding. we shall see. o yes.
today i got horribly and awfully depressed by some offhand comments that kylie made at work today. when she first met me she sized me up in about five minutes and i feel like she's never really looked at me past that first impression (it was not a good one- she totally talked down to me and treated me like a huge dumbass), which isn't cool because she has me pegged completely wrong in the same way that most people do. for some reason i make a bad first impression and i don't really know why this is. i think that it's because i'm reserved and reserve tends to be mistaken for a feeling of superiority or rampant arrogance and egotism. i don't know why this is. it's a shame, that's for sure because reserve isn't like that at all. it's something called MODESTY and HUMILITY.
so then i got into suicidal self-loathing mode, which is never fun and then that gets me into fatalistic mode and i need to not succumb to that stuff right now- i have a lot to do and i have to remind myself that things are going well and i shouldn't be discouraged.
listened to the for carnation tonight. burned it to cd. it's kind of a crime that i'd only listened to it once since i'd bought it. i'm burning the first slint album to cd right now as well- another record i overlooked completely. for some reason i'm having to play catch up with all of the awesome stuff that i bought when i was living in portland- lee hazlewood is the perfect example of this. i listened to 'cowboy in sweden' once after i bought it and had put it in the pile of records to burn to cd and dragged it out after he died and, lo and behold, i love the crap out of it! his production is intoxicating- especially the way he uses strings and the arrangements/arrangers he uses. wow. it's a goal of mine to be able to write string arrangements of that caliber. i've already got the weird harmonic sense going for me. rock on.
stefanie and i are doing a cover of 'leather and lace' at one of our upcoming shows. i'd like it if we could get hannah involved but i don't think that's going to happen since we won't have enough time to practise with her before these shows since she's leaving the country and all.

how many people fill out lame surveys while listening to bob dylan?

just me i guess...

OW MANY BATHING SUITS DO YOU OWN?
1

HOW MUCH IS YOUR MONTHLY CAR INSURANCE?
$75

EVER WEAR A TIE?
yes, but only for special occasions.

PLAYSTATION OR NINTENDO?
nintendo

CAN YOU SING?
yes.

WHERE IS YOUR DREAM WEDDING LOCATION?
i guess in a backyard in kansas city in the middle of july.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT
i tend to go to kansas city on vacations. anywhere, really...

HOW OLD IS YOUR COMPUTER?
about 3 years maybe? (it's not really mine)

DO YOU FART OUTLOUD IN PUBLIC?
i do at work sometimes, but i try to keep it quiet and classy.

WHO DO YOU CARRY PICTURES OF IN YOUR WALLET/PURSE?
no one.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE JELL-O SHOTS?
no.

WHAT WOKE YOU UP THIS MORNING?
my alarm.

WHO IS WORSE: BRITANY OR LINDSEY?
britney.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?
yes.

IS SOMEONE IN THE ROOM WITH YOU RIGHT NOW?
no.

EVER BEEN INSIDE A COLLEGE DORM?
yes.

DO YOU KNOW ALL 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD?
no- i think i know two or three. maybe four.

WHAT�S YOUR FAVORITE CRAYON IN THE CRAYON BOX?
magenta.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE THING RIGHT THIS MINUTE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
$10,000

HAVE YOU SEEN ALL 6 STAR WARS MOVIES?
yes.

THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT YOU HAVE RECEIVED?
my parents bought me a guitar for my 23rd birthday.

IS YOUR CLOSET ORGANIZED?
yes, but none of the clothes in it ever get worn.

DO YOU DOWNLOAD GAMES FOR YOUR CELL PHONE?
no.

FAVORITE SODA?
dr. pepper.

EVER TRY WAXING?
fuck no.

WOULD YOU SWITCH CARS WITH YOUR MOM?
no.

DO YOU PUT FRUIT IN YOUR BEER?
orange in the blue moon. lemon in the hezeweizen.

HOW MANY DRINKS IS TOO MANY?
8.

SCARIEST SCARY MOVIE?
i'm a lightweight. 'the shining.'

EVER BEEN TO A DRIVE IN MOVIE?
no.

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO DRIVE?
my dad.

DO YOU PREFER TO RENT OR BUY DVD�s
rent.

PANCAKES OR WAFFLES?
pancakes.

WOULD YOU HAVE A PET PIG?
sure- but i don't think my cats would like that.

EVER WEAR HAIR EXTENSIONS?
no.

HAVE YOU EVER CRAWLED THROUGH A WINDOW?
yes.

ARE YOU IN A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP?
no.

LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A TANNING BED?
never.

WHEN DID YOU LAST TAKE A BUBBLE BATH?
i think i might've been five.

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ANY OF YOUR MYSPACE FRIENDS?
no.

BEST CARTOON VILLAIN?
skeletor. duh.

DID YOU VOTE IN THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION?
yes.

YOUR THOUGHTS ON HOOTERS?
i like breasts. i do not like loud, trashy, drunk white people. i despise the chain of this name. what sexist shit.

some work done

today i got some work done finally. it's been a bit of a slump for at least the last week or so. i did get some work done for the 3rd album today. very nice. i realised that i was supposed to try and finish a track that i'm working on as quick as possible just to see how long it takes to finish a track from this album. so far it has acoustic guitars, vocals (but with no reverb added yet), electric guitar, organ and a backwards guitar figure pitched up that i did today. it took me about an hour or so to get it to work. the signal through the mixer kept dying and i turned the fan off and it was so unbelievable sweltering today and that room is quite the little hotbox when the fan isn't on. basically sweat was dripping off of me the entire time i was in there. i think i started to see stars towards the end. but i got it finished and it sounded the way i wanted it to. yay! now this track just needs strings- i was going to try to do a three part string arrangement and only the cello part is written at this moment- and drums and i might have stefanie do some 'ooohs' or something... not sure. the cello won't be recorded until after hannah gets back from japan. the drums i might hold back on until i can buy some new mics to help get a little variation in there. the 'ooohs' i'm not even sure will go in there. there's already a lot going on as it is.
i also did a good version of a song that i thought was dead, but was revived last week. i reworked all of the chords and the tuning, while still using the original idea if that makes any sense. it worked really well. i did two guitar parts and dug out my old yamaha keyboard to have something to keep time to build the track over until we can record the drums. there isn't a loop for it at all. there isn't one for the other song i worked on today either. this reworked song- called 'into grey' for practical discussion- was always kind of intended to be shelved once it was finished. i wasn't even sure i was ever going to bother to record for a long time until i reworked the music and now it's kind of in contention for the record. it has three verses and a long chorus. it even kind of has a guitar hook if you can imagine it. the guitars i recorded today were originally intended to be scratch tracks, but i was so happy with the rhythm guitar and all of the feedback that i got at the beginning that i decided to try the lead guitar too and they both turned out so well i might just keep them. i am in love with my fender twin- it can howl like nothing else and exactly the way i want it to now. i turned on the distortion and it wasn't as loud as the clean sound from the amp. the clean sound was all rowdy and crazy. perfect! i'd been in a bad mood from all of the mixer fuckups and i'd had to drive stefanie out to the montrose blue line station because she went to a yarn show at the convention center at rosemont and i had a bad time driving there and back. driving here it's usually okay and i'm fairly used to it at this point, but when you have a bad day driving here you have a BAD DAY DRIVING. there is no inbetween. the worst is when you have a really awful time driving and then you finally get home and you have to find someplace to park and that goes badly too. i was pissed when i got out of the car. but then i ended up in a fabulous mood after getting all of this unexpected work done. nice.
got a bunch of new albums for real cheap today. got 'automatic' by jamc, pixies b sides collection and 'this shit is genius' by dillinger four all for $1 each and then i got four vinyl albums for $1 too- i got the first two patti smith albums and that brian eno/david byrne album and a tom waits album that might be kind of hard to find- the 'one from the heart' soundtrack. probably not hard to find- probably the kind of record people give away. for 25 cents even!
i also got the ghost to falco record that i ordered in the mail. i'm in new music right now. yay! i should probably save a little money to spend at dave's records with this next paycheck. i doubt it'll happen as all of that money is spoken for at this point. i'm going to look for more lee hazlewood records though. he is my new obsession. you betcha! figured out the chords to 'leather and lace' today as well. i got a chord sheet for it through a google but it was in the wrong key. i'd like to figure out the string arrangement (good fucking luck) just to see how it works and such and since it's a good example of the kind of string arrangements i'd like to figure out how to write. we're also going to cover it live at one of our upcoming shows. neither of them are finalized yet, but they'll both be acoustic affairs with no p.a. goodnight then!

flaky musicians

i am REALLY fucking sick of dealing with flaky musicians at the moment. the old cycle hath renewed. apparently people think that if they string me along long enough i won't notice that they don't give a shit about participating in the act of making music with me. i really don't understand this but i do know that it's happened an awful lot. someone will start playing music with me and after the initial fun at the beginning it turns into a laundry list of lame excuses as to why they can't practice, or can't play a show, or can't record or can't make up a part for a song but want to bitch about how their part is 'boring' rather than actually levelling with me and saying 'look, this really isn't my cup of tea.' i get really sick of having my time wasted by these people and i thought that it had been behind me years and years ago. stefanie isn't flaky, mind you- which is why we've been playing together for as long as we have and i have a tendency to expect too much of her, but i would like to take this opportunity to say that she is one of a handful of people i've played music with who give me enough respect to take my music seriously. she sings well on the songs she sings. she drums to the best of her abilities and makes a contribution in that regard to make my music better. she delivers the goods. billy is our cellist and a full member of the band as far as i'm concerned even though he lives in kansas city and will be for as long as he wants to. whenever i've recorded with billy he's always given his all and played the parts that are pre-written to a t, but with enough raggedness to give it some heart and passion and he's also come up with some incredibly beautiful lines on his own with no more guidance than a chord chart and made a contribution. but, man, the girl we're stuck with playing cello for us up here is really starting to piss my shit off. i'm getting that 'i'm stringing you along because i'm too worried about being rude' feeling now. i don't mean to be inappropriately bitchy, but she's leaving to go to japan for a week in two weeks and i didn't hear about it until i asked if she could play a show with us on the 25th. since she was leaving and i thought she might be gone for a long time i asked if we do some recording before she left- meaning i would bring my recording equipment to her house and record her there and the whole thing would probably only take two hours- and she said that she has too much going on with the trip being two weeks away and that she'll be back on the 4th. i'm sorry but it doesn't take two fucking weeks to prepare for a 10-day long trip. yeah, you're leaving the country, but for fuck's sake it's not like i spent two weeks packing and 'preparing' to go to new york and london when i went with my dad. now, when i went for two months i did spend weeks preparing, but i also did two recording sessions in iowa and went to wichita twice for two different funerals during the last two weeks before i left for london for a four month stay. i wasn't particularly thrilled about going to iowa to record less than a week before i was leaving, but mike had asked me before we took the time slot and we did have a batch of songs that needed to be recorded for a seven inch. it's unfortunate that this was saved until the absolute last second, but i still went to iowa and i gave it 100% because i wanted to be involved with those songs and because my friend was paying for the studio time and the seven inch on his own. now, i don't necessarily expect that level of commitment from anyone else (although it would be nice for a change of pace) that i play music with but one thing i absolutely despise is hearing lame excuses from flakes who really just mean 'i don't really feel like doing it right now.' if you are a fucking lame-ass flake then at least be honest about it- i can appreciate some honesty in that regard, plus if you let me know you're a lame-ass flake i don't have to go to the trouble of bothering to try and get you to do anything and then we won't waste each other's time.
so now, basically i have about 8 cello parts that need to be done for the next record. two of those are for tracks that are the lead contenders to go on the record. about three are for underdog tracks that have a fighting chance. the other three are kind of for admitted problem songs that have very little chance of ever seeing the light of day. there are also two tracks that i was pondering asking a friend who plays violin to play on. i'm not real sure what to do about this. i guess there's not really anything i can do... just wait until she comes back and do the recording then... i guess there are worse things in the world really than having a flaky cellist. i just wish that we could have billy around to play shows with us and record without it being a huge production. i am going to be travelling to kansas city next year to do more strings parts of course. this time the recording trip will only be string parts...

the proposition

we watched 'the proposition' tonight. it was a really good and interesting movie. totally brutal, of course, but a good movie nevertheless. i'd highly recommend it. i am hoping that the movies that are upcoming in our netflix queue will begin to mellow a bit. it's been an intense period from that standpoint. stefanie is squeamish too. real squeamish. she hardly watched a lot of 'pan's labirynth' because she couldn't handle the gore.
i listened to tons of lee hazlewood yesterday- converted 'cowboy in sweden' to cd. i would like to cover 'leather and lace' at one of our next acoustic shows (two are in the works for september), but i suspect that stefanie might kill that idea... i'm going to figure out how to play it and then i'd like to at least give it a try because it is a really beautiful song and it's a duet. it'd be pretty awersome...
i guess that's all i have to say at the moment...

i decree (o yeah)

from this point on my current place of work will be referred to here only as the asylum. why you ask?
a story- there is a man down the hall who is quite a nutjob. he has several dogs that he brings to work everyday. no big deal, right? he also has an albino rabbit named edgar that he brings in too. still no big deal. he brought in his giant iguana on monday. why you ask? we did too and he told us he brought in the iguana because it is afraid of people and it freaks out whenever he sees them so he brought the iguana with him to work and left in the hall so that it would get used to people, since people would always be walking by. oh yeah, and somewhere in his main office space he has a giant south american python. a fucking python. i'm personally not afraid of pythons at all- and i could see bringing in the three or four dogs (it's hard to keep track), the rabbit too, the iguana is a bit weird but i like iguanas, but for fuck's sake why the hell do you need to bring in your fucking PYTHON to work with you?! a footnote- during a stage where i was buying a vitamin water every morning in addition to my normal latte i had to use the bathroom a lot and i'd run into him in there and he'd kind of look at me with this weirded-out/scared look whenever i was in there and he'd stare at me, so i'd just stare back. usually i'd go 'how ya doin?' and he'd mumble something and leave looking really freaked out. after a few months of this one day a male coworker (who's gone now) told me about a conversation he had with the guy down the hall. the subject was me. he told my coworker that he suspected that i never flushed the urinal when i used it. he said he would've talked to me himself but he didn't know me. my coworker asked him if he was sure it wasn't someone that worked for him to which he replied 'oh no, i've talked to all of them about it. it's not any of them.' his basis for believing it was me? he saw me flush the toilet with my foot once.
i've already gone into my boss' nutty habits- she's mainly just very type a and expects you to read her mind without her having to say anything to you and know things that you would never know normally and just do them perfectly with absolutely no guidance. see the entry below for some more details. she also doesn't realise that she comes off as very nasty and confrontational about even the most innocuous things.
so today my boss goes up to the guy down the hall and asks him to move the iguana in from the hallway. this basically devolves into a weird shouting match that got pretty fucking nasty from what i was told. i didn't hear any of it. it all sounded ridiculous, plus when you get two stubborn type a people like that together and in an argument it's sheer chaos. scary. it's difficult to take sides too when both arguers are fucking nuts. on the one hand why should he have to move his iguana just because it freaks my boss out but then on the other why should (or would for that matter) he bring his iguana with him to work everyday and leave it in the hallway for all to see. so there's a lesson for you kids.

one o these...

1. How tall are you?
6'2"

2. Do you like bananas?
yes i do.

3. What is your favorite song of all time?
'to here knows when' by my bloody valentine.

4. What do you do on Fridays?
we usually come home after work and sit around and watch movies and maybe buy a 12 pack or something...

5. Flip flops or sandals?
neither, thanks.

6. Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
i like both of those.

7. Have you had a beer in the past week?
i've had about 8.

8. Do you read Harry Potter books?
no.

9. What is your favorite food?
thai food.

10. Where are you going to travel next?
i'm going to kansas city for a weekend in october.

11, What is your favorite PJ fabric?
i don't wear pajamas.

12. Boat or bus?
boat.

13. Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
i usually say 'i don't have anything, sorry.'

14. Do you shower every single day?
no.

15. Kill the spider or let it out?
we remove spiders from our apartment in a blue plastic cup marked 'spider removal dept.' i've had to move 3 in the last day. stefanie woke me up at 8:30 this morning to move one...

16. What is your favorite TV show?
arrested development

17. Do you eat cold cereal at night?
i eat cold cereal any time of day if i feel like it (and if i have any).

18. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
blind.

19. Are you a cat or a dog person?
cat person.

20. Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?
a bad laugh. i've only met a few people with one i just couldn't stand though.

21. Favorite fruit?
apples.

22. Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
juice and crackers? nasty!

23. Who are you going to vote for in 2008?
obama or hillary clinton.

24. Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape or other?
safari (well it still has problems).

25. What was your last thought?
i need to poop.

26. Favorite element?
water.

27. Where is Waldo?
he's everywhere.

28. Do you support Paris?
i don't really think about her much. i kind of feel bad for her.

29. Why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side.

30. Your favorite Disney films?
mary poppins.

31. Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
musical concert.

32. Favorite Place to Eat?
alice and friends.

33. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
leg.

34. Would you rather be hot or cold?
cold.

35. T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel?
i have a sprint but it's a piece of shit and i hardly ever use it anyway.

36, Water or 100% Juice?
water.

37. How do you feel?
hot and sticky.

38. Romance or Kinky Sex?
both.

39. Get the number or give the number?
get.

40. When do you plan on getting married?
i am married.

41. Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?
no.

42. Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?
two cats- robin and tilly.

43. If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?
go to europe.

44. What is your favourite word?
drowning.

perfect music for a rainstorm

tonight i have
1) converted 'yanqui u.x.o.' by godspeed you! black emporer from vinyl to mp3
2) written down a dream i had last night
3) enjoyed a lovely rainstorm that i would've missed had i gone to sleep earlier.
i do need to go to bed though- it is quite late...

i need a new job right this instant

today some fucked up shit happened at work that nearly had me leaving for lunch and never coming back. the only reasons are because i don't have anything else lined up yet and i have this week-long project that will cause me to be working alone for about a week (hopefully). the two main boss ladies at my job are the two most conniving and passive-aggressive psychos that i've ever met in my life. the next thing they do to piss me off i'm walking. today the owner lady caught me making a few mistakes on the phone- one was putting someone on hold while i was looking for something on the shelf for them that they wanted to order. she told me to tell her i'd call her back. i didn't do it immediately and i fucked up and admitted to something stupid and before i could finish my explanation i was cut off and then a few minutes later she gathered all of us around for a staff meeting. she mentioned what i'd just done and went on about how we shouldn't put people on hold- we need to tell them we'll call them back after we've searched the shelves. then there was a whole talk about customer service and how there've been a lot of complaints about people who answer the phone- funnily enough most of them matched mistakes i've made with customers on the phone. i suck on the phone. i know this. then she brought up the other mistake i'd made that day, then the office manager made and example of me because i have a tendency to say 'um' a lot when i'm thinking on the phone because it doesn't inspire confidence in the people who call in and order $6000 worth of stuff. so this staff meeting became 'let's rag on tyler and make him our scapegoat.' the owner even said 'not to make an example of tyler again, but, earlier today tyler did...' blah blah blah. at work lately it's been little passive-aggressive bullshit that doesn't bother me so much at the time- i take it in stride while it's happening- i imagine they probably don't think i'm upset in the slightest by this passive-aggressive shit- but then i go away and sit down and realise that it really pissed me off. this is long after the incident.
so basically i'm looking for a job now. i'm calling my temp agency tomorrow to see if i can go back to ceda. we're stopping by fedex kinko's after work tomorrow to fax a resume to a place that needs a data entry clerk.
some good news today though- my check from the credit card company finally came in the mail, so tomorrow i'm going to deposit all of my money that i've been saving and then i'm going to order the eps finally. i'm super excited. awersome!
that's really about it i guess. i should probably go to sleep though because i'm exhausted and since today was so shitty god knows what tomorrow will be like.
the ironic thing is that when i came in to work today i was feeling kind of refreshed about things there and i was resolved to stay on to get to year two. i'd been having a rough time for the last week or so, but not quite like this. it was what i'd call a bearable level. i wanted to leave then too, but then i get back in the right frame of mind and this happens. i think it's time to just trust in my own self-worth for a change and not be a fucking scapegoat for assholes. i'll tell you one thing- if i get another job soon i'm not giving them two weeks there. if an interviewer says 'can you start tomorrow?' the answer is yes. if i get any more abuse i'm just grabbing my bag and leaving. it might be good to do the walk out. i've never done it before.
more irony- stefanie's graduated from massage therapy school and the owner is always begging her not to leave and here they are treating me, her husband, like shit and she's aware of it and somehow they still expect her to stay on. she's sending in her money to get licensed. once that comes through she's leaving too. i think she might be staying on for another month because she wanted to spend a month giving massages to friends for practise before she gets a job. she even has a place where she's going to try and get a job. we've met the owner and he's very nice. it's in evanston.