drowning in nostalgia

i'm having one of those periods in my life where i'm constantly nostalgic and wistful. it can get pretty ugly in this internet age- when i lived in kansas city i'd just get in my car and go for a two hour drive blasting jesus and mary chain and my bloody valentine records or do a cure marathon and pass the houses of a few old girlfriends and then head out onto the desolate and hilly part of johnson drive (which i'm pretty sure gives way to a completely different town). now there are facebook wormholes to get lost in, youtube videos to watch and then, of course, this little journal substitute i've got going here. there are times where i get stuck in one of these wormholes and suddenly three hours have gone by... at least the gas is cheap, i suppose.
this could be the result of doing one of those 'memes' that the kids used to do all the time. i did the 30 days of music one and just finished and as cheesy as i thought doing such a thing was it actually did get me thinking about music that i hadn't listened to or thought about in eons. it kicked off another major cure kick, that's for sure. i ended up adding a lot of stuff onto my new-ish ipod that i'd forgotten about.
another explanation could be the lack of new songs to work on. i did just have the string players over to record some 'new' stuff (most of which was begun in 2007) which turned out very nicely. it's mostly 'chinese blue' stuff- it sounds very vibrant, clean and lush. there are mistakes, but it somehow manages to sound more confident than some of our older stuff. i've also nearly finished three instrumentals for possible upload as stock film score music. so far i've been able to stay in the habit of sitting down in the music room and coming up with new stuff. it's fairly rare when i can sit down in there, pick up the guitar and not come up with something new to work on. this whole stock film scoring thing is perfect for that too- i'm trying not to limit myself in terms of what i think that people would want, so it's really fun and liberating because i also don't have to flesh them out into songs. i'm also enjoying not having to worry about writing or recording new shalloboi songs.
that said i have started a new shalloboi song that's actually jangly. blame wild nothing and my repeated listening of their album 'gemini.'
financially speaking i've started implementing my plan to get my monetary messes back into order. i got a new checking account at pnc since chase is getting rid of their free checking accounts and i also got a new credit card to do the whole balance transfer malarkey properly. since we aren't really planning on going out of town too much this year, we're going to try to get a show booked in kansas city over the weekend before my birthday. we've made a rental car reservation (which are beautiful, malleable things) which actually will end up costing about the same as taking the train home. i might try and book a round of shows in new york and possibly in philadelphia in the summertime. i'm not so sure that it would be possible to do much more than that... going to new york is really really reaching in and of itself, but i suppose i'll see how things are looking in the spring and how much it'll cost. katelyn will be leaving soon and this would be our only chance to do something like this with everyone involved. merilee will be leaving soon as well and i'm not entirely sure what will become of this particular format for the band- do i want to try and replace two people, one of whom is my best player?
i suppose this is a pretty good indication of why i'm so wistful and nostalgic at this point in time- this year is kind of a crossroads.

'where are you going, can i come with you?'

i'm in a pretty good mood today so i figured it might be a good time to write an entry, which i haven't done in quite a while it looks like. i'm sure my faithful readers and just dying for another nugget (hardeehar). we had a really great recording session last night and finished a few 'chinese blue' tracks (or at least i think we did) which will probably not see the light of day for about three more years. that's okay- we have a lot to do between now and then. i need stefanie to do some vocals on two of them and then they're finished.
other than that things have been going fairly well- it looks like i'm going to go buy godspeed tickets tomorrow (at last). it'll be nice to see them play again- it only took 11 years, but i suppose that it'll be worth waiting for. i'm not so into the whole nostalgia trip, but godspeed just kind of sputtered out and ended up neglected by the band members' many side-projects. they win a my bloody valentine-style free pass. when i saw them in london it was one of the best shows i've ever been to. it looks like february is a very solitary show-going month for me- i'm going to see disappears at the empty bottle and wild nothing at lincoln hall by myself (stefanie doesn't want to go out on friday nights any more). i don't enjoy going out on friday nights myself so much anymore since i have to be at work so much earlier, but i am willing to brave the sleep deprivation for disappears and right now i'm completely obsessed with wild nothing.
wild nothing (who i'm listening to right this instant) have brought an interesting issue for me to the fore- the fact that the young hipster kids enjoy 80s fashion and such so much. just to show my bitter jaded agedness i'm going to bitch about this fact just like older people bitched about kids in the 90s wearing 70s clothes. nothing is funnier to me than seeing 80s fashion return- i've actually been the grumpy older guy bitching about how 'this stuff isn't cool- i had to wear jams and hypercolor to school as a kid- it's not fucking cool!' despite their 80s obsession and the fact that they are extremely jangly i love wild nothing and not in some kind of nostalgic kind of way- the songs are really beautiful and i like the way that they take elements of the smiths, the cure, a little bit of dreampop/mbv-ism and blend it into these nice, compact, catchy and beautiful songs. 'o, lilac' is not the kind of song i normally like. so weird. it even inspired me to write a song that i would describe as jangly- i guess that hell's freezing over. i suppose it was only a matter of time once i'd started playing my 12-string guitar (which i love to death now, btw). also i'm talking about all of this 80s nostalgia stuff while i'm sitting at the wormhole- which is a dumping ground for pretty much every movie poster, stuffed animal, action figure and what-have-you that i remember from when i was a kid. i really love the way they do it here though- it's so comforting and familiar to me that it creates a feeling that i could only describe as 'womb-like.' i'm sitting next to a giant big-screen tv that has a nintendo hooked up to it. there's an 'uncle buck' and 'karate kid' poster right next to me.
i'm going to go record shopping after i'm done here. i've got a plan to start getting my debt back in order this year- i think i'm ready to give the balance transfer a spin. it's about fucking time.

diary 1.12.11- no dawn, no day

diary 1.12.11- no dawn, no day

1. so sorry- feist- the reminder
2. dazzle- siouxsie and the banshees- hyaena
3. cosmic love- florence and the machine- lungs
4. still feels like tears- the broadcast- the future crayon
5. death's not your friend (live)- wooden shjips- vol. 2
6. inside/outside (demo)- the warlocks- rise and fall reissue
7. sad ghost- kurt vile- in my time 7"
8. sailing with bobby- greg ashley- painted garden
9. hide myself- the jesus and mary chain- the power of negative thinking
10. girl in black- crocodiles- sleep forever
11. the three sisters- the cure- lost wishes
12. local authority- mogwai- the hawk is howling
13. you came to me- beach house- devotion
14. touch upon touch- cocteau twins- unreleased
15. drown- smashing pumpkins- singles soundtrack
16. moonlight on verlaine- atlas sound- bedroom databank volume 4

also, RIP trish keenan of the broadcast. despite having heard the broadcast played at work constantly by my former co-worker anthony del bosque i only started picking up their records this week- such amazing music. they were headed in such an exciting and unique direction it's tragic that it's over. this was my first playlist to feature one of their songs. i'm probably going to reckless after this and will most likely pick something else of theirs up.

dearest 2010, don't let the door hit you in the ass while i kick your ugly mug to the fucking curb

yup, this year was quite the kick in the teeth. there were a few highs- all music-related. some shit went down and it was the kind of shit that helps you figure out who your real friends are and i was surprised and humbled by the grace and loyalty that several people heaped onto me. i have a difficult time thinking that i deserve such treatment even at the best of times so when as many showed me this level of loyalty as did this year i am humbled and endlessly grateful for my unbelievable fortune to have such awesome friends.
2011 i'm hoping will be a reconstruction year- a lot of end-points were met, mostly financial. like every year, i'd like to start getting my debt under control. one of the nice things about having a special needs cat is that we can't really afford to entertain the notion of touring next year. it's going to have to be daytrips here and there. we will most likely get to play in kansas city again next year- probably just as a two-piece, but it'll still be a lot of fun- and i'm hoping we can get one or two more similar trips in. i'm also looking forward to getting some more 'chinese blue' work in there. a few of the tapes with some key tracks have gone missing. i do hope to release the first two 'field of flowers' 7"es. i'm beginning to think that i might just go all microlabel and only press 100 of each of them. i'd also like to release 'christmas suite' as a 12" next christmas. i've got the dvd done and will probably bring a few copies of it to sell at the show tomorrow night, but i would love to get the damned thing pressed to vinyl. time shall tell- what's more i'm pretty sure it's a pipe dream to get two 7"es AND a 12" released in a year without some outside help. it's always been my custom to aim way too high and then, as a result, be pleased that anything turns out. it's kind of my life philosophy.
i'd also like to get myself a new (and better) job in 2011. i should take a number though- from what i've read and heard 85% of the workforce in america is looking to do the same thing. i think everyone who had a job during the recession just stuck it out there thinking that they were better off just staying at a job that was secure rather than looking for something new. what will this mean? i'm not entirely sure...
we shall see...
we shall see...

'christmas suite' redux

finally finished it. i have burned a handful of dvds with these videos on them to give out at christmas. here it finally is- the whole enchilada.

'christmas suite'


'christmas song'


'christmas song revisited'


'christmas song, pt. iii'


'christmas song, pt. iv'

wrapping things up

things are coming to a close- the 'field of flowers' songs are mixed. i finally have figured out clearly what i want from them, the 'christmas suite' is finished (both the songs and the videos- just have to figure out a way to convert the massive 25 minute video for all four so as to make it uploadable) and 'chinese blue' is in a holding pattern for now. i can't do the final mix for 'field of flowers' until i get my tape machine fixed and i can't do that until i'm back from kc. by mixing down to DAT i've basically convinced myself that i need to mixdown to tape and therefore it would be wise of me to get my tape machine fixed as it's entirely possible that it's a fairly easy fix- i think it might just be some loose wiring as my old tapes still play perfectly fine through the machine.
so, given all of that i'm able to wrap up working on music for the year. this has been the most productive year probably since 2003 or 2006. it seems that when i'm having a troublesome year i throw myself into my work more and the results are quite impressive. 'christmas song, pt. iv' is quite nice, i've got to say- it's rickety in places but it sounds quite beautiful. i've unearthed a few nice mixing secrets lately that have come in handy that i'm going to take back to the troublesome 'field of flowers' tracks (there are only a few right now).
i'm really looking forward to going home for christmas- we'll be home next week, which is very exciting! i'm hoping it'll be very relaxing this year- we're staying at my parents' house which means that i can go across the street to the filling station any time i want (which always makes for a relaxing time for me) and i'm a good deal more comfortable at my parents' place than at the in-laws' place. it's closer to all of the places i like to visit as well. it's not necessarily bad to stay there, i'm just not always as comfortable there. i've also saved quite a bit of money, so i should be able to do lots of fun things while we're home. i'd like to coordinate a trip to the lovegarden in lawrence but, as always, time will be a factor as well as the fact that i won't know what stefanie has gotten me until after we get home.
i think that things are starting to calm down a bit again (for the moment, at least) since the little freakout of last week with the cat. things are getting easier to deal with in my opinion and while the situation is not ideal it's not as grim as i'd initially thought. that's worth something.
right now i'm in the process of uploading a bunch of videos to vimeo as my videos look like crap on youtube and they always look much better on vimeo. i might move everything over to there over the next couple of months.

best tracks of 2010 mix

this is my best tracks of 2010 playlist- a lot of fun as i get to include songs on 7"es and eps. there are a few repeats from past playlists- it's mainly because they are very loved.



song- artist- album

1. earthquake- deerhunter- halcyon digest
2. marigold- disappears- lux
3. you can take your time- nina nastasia- outlaster
4. death rattles- woods- at echo lake
5. shake the shackles- crystal stilts- shake the shackles 7"
6. sitting sick- woven bones- hozac hookup klub volume one compilation
7. crossed wires- superchunk- majesty shredding
8. bellringer blues- grinderman- grinderman 2
9. flash bats- thee oh sees- warm slime
10. this is the first of your last warning (english version)- the brian jonestown massacre- one 12"
11. rest of our lives- dum dum girls- i will be
12. scotland's shame- mogwai- special moves
13. stranded- the walkmen- lisbon
14. my boat is sinking- the black angels- phosphene dream bonus tracks
15. i wanted everything- kurt vile- square shells ep
16. he's gone- vivian girls- my love will follow me 7"
17. '81- joanna newsom- have one on me
18. real love- beach house- teen dream