i can't quite shake my obsession with this band- i have everything they've released so far and i wait with baited breath to see what they release next. one of the things i'm most upset about missing while we were on tour was their set at the empty bottle. i was so bummed about missing it that i almost went to see them in kansas city at the record bar. the other one was missing neko case at the hideout block party. i guess that in a pinch this will have to do-
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
how could i forget????
for some reason i totally forgot to post our new video here. dep...
i recommend that you click on the youtube link and watch it in higher quality as it looks much nicer. the downloadable version down at the bottom looks nicest of all. (awwww...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ5YyD0tUfI
download here (ipod format).
i recommend that you click on the youtube link and watch it in higher quality as it looks much nicer. the downloadable version down at the bottom looks nicest of all. (awwww...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ5YyD0tUfI
download here (ipod format).
Friday, November 7, 2008
i have precious little time
whenever i listen to music it makes me want to make more music. whenever i read more it makes me want to start writing again. i've been reading joan didion's 'the year of magical thinking' which is about the aftermath of her husband's death and her daughter's serious illness (which escalated dramatically after her husband's death). it's an incredibly interesting and insightful book and i really love it. naturally it fills me with morbid thoughts- similar to the 'love is a mixtape' book that billy got me for christmas one year.
one of my favorite tidbits i've picked up from 'the year of magical thinking' is what joan didion refers to as 'the vortex effect.' i finally have a term for what happens to me when i go home. the older i get the more i see this even though i am still much younger than joan didion is (thus the effect is much more dramatic in her life). basically when i drive around in kansas city i usually can't drive around without driving past something familiar that sucks me back into this weird kind of chain of vivid memories and i'll remember the strangest things that i haven't thought about in years. they're very sudden and the effects are kind of curious- i usually can't explain it after it happens, but it happens a lot.
that's usually the state i'm in when i've gone through a deep myspace wormhole and i start to get completely overwhelmed with nostalgia for things and people that i haven't thought about in years. my last trip to kc was a lot like this in many ways. i don't know that i've written about it too much. i haven't really written about anything other than the parts that got finished (big surprise). i managed to get to lawrence on this last trip, which was incredibly unexpected. on my first day in town after recording billy had to go up to lawrence for school and i ended up tagging along with him and i had about an hour or two (not real sure now- an hour sounds too short and two sounds too long) to walk around and do whatever i wanted. he parked right by where the pirate house used to be (which is where the short bus kids used to play probably 90% of the time) at 14th and kentucky and i walked downtown from there. it was interesting- kind of a dual time- i went to a lot of places i used to go all the time and then some places that i never used to go. lawrence is kind of nice in this regard- i spent a fair amount of time there but i did about the same four or five things every time i went there, so there's still new groung to cover when i go back these days. i went to mass street music for example, which i'd always passed on the way and never gone inside of. i went to the lovegarden and bought the vinyl version of the first walkmen album- which is basically two short records in one package- the tracks are all in a different running order and there are some extra tracks. i went to java break too which has changed a ton over the years- that was a highlight i'd say- a place i used to go that had changed enough but still stayed the same in other ways that it was really nice to be there. i didn't get to the bourgeois pig, which is a place i normally go when i'm in lawrence because i like the beers they have on tap and because i never went there when i was living in kansas city so it's a new place to me. i had a really good time there.
i'm amazed at how much i was able to squeeze in in kansas city even though i wasn't even quite there for two full days. all of the recording and then there was a decent amount of loafing time as well. it served well as a prelude to the christmas visit. i feel like there's less pressure to get more fitted in when i'm in town. we're currently trying to get an acoustic show going. we were going to play at the record bar on the 29th, we changed our flights to leave on the 30th (it only cost $40 total) and then the booking person there told us he made a snafu and couldn't offer us the 29th after all, but that the only slot he had left was on the ad astra per aspera show on the 27th. naturally that would work well. i haven't heard from mike yet. i kind of feel like it will work out since we've played with them before and that they're our friends and all but i can't help feel a bit anxious until it's firmed up and i know it's going to happen. we really fucked up last year not getting to fit the acoustic show in- i was really bummed about that. i guess it's probably better not to do it every year in reality. i'm going to try to get more string players for this one to play for about half of it. if that doesn't work it's not the end of the world.
anyway, the battery is getting low and i'll just ramble on anyway and i can't seem to get an outlet at this coffee shop to save my life. i think it's time to get a new computer. i think i'm just going to have to pay for it myself and have to do the apple payments on it- they can be as low as $24 a month. why not? we can't go on like this and the last two laptops have belonged to stefanie, it would be nice to have gotten one that belongs to me. they definitely have more memory space than this dinosaur- 120 gb is the lowest storage that the bottom of the line one has.
one of my favorite tidbits i've picked up from 'the year of magical thinking' is what joan didion refers to as 'the vortex effect.' i finally have a term for what happens to me when i go home. the older i get the more i see this even though i am still much younger than joan didion is (thus the effect is much more dramatic in her life). basically when i drive around in kansas city i usually can't drive around without driving past something familiar that sucks me back into this weird kind of chain of vivid memories and i'll remember the strangest things that i haven't thought about in years. they're very sudden and the effects are kind of curious- i usually can't explain it after it happens, but it happens a lot.
that's usually the state i'm in when i've gone through a deep myspace wormhole and i start to get completely overwhelmed with nostalgia for things and people that i haven't thought about in years. my last trip to kc was a lot like this in many ways. i don't know that i've written about it too much. i haven't really written about anything other than the parts that got finished (big surprise). i managed to get to lawrence on this last trip, which was incredibly unexpected. on my first day in town after recording billy had to go up to lawrence for school and i ended up tagging along with him and i had about an hour or two (not real sure now- an hour sounds too short and two sounds too long) to walk around and do whatever i wanted. he parked right by where the pirate house used to be (which is where the short bus kids used to play probably 90% of the time) at 14th and kentucky and i walked downtown from there. it was interesting- kind of a dual time- i went to a lot of places i used to go all the time and then some places that i never used to go. lawrence is kind of nice in this regard- i spent a fair amount of time there but i did about the same four or five things every time i went there, so there's still new groung to cover when i go back these days. i went to mass street music for example, which i'd always passed on the way and never gone inside of. i went to the lovegarden and bought the vinyl version of the first walkmen album- which is basically two short records in one package- the tracks are all in a different running order and there are some extra tracks. i went to java break too which has changed a ton over the years- that was a highlight i'd say- a place i used to go that had changed enough but still stayed the same in other ways that it was really nice to be there. i didn't get to the bourgeois pig, which is a place i normally go when i'm in lawrence because i like the beers they have on tap and because i never went there when i was living in kansas city so it's a new place to me. i had a really good time there.
i'm amazed at how much i was able to squeeze in in kansas city even though i wasn't even quite there for two full days. all of the recording and then there was a decent amount of loafing time as well. it served well as a prelude to the christmas visit. i feel like there's less pressure to get more fitted in when i'm in town. we're currently trying to get an acoustic show going. we were going to play at the record bar on the 29th, we changed our flights to leave on the 30th (it only cost $40 total) and then the booking person there told us he made a snafu and couldn't offer us the 29th after all, but that the only slot he had left was on the ad astra per aspera show on the 27th. naturally that would work well. i haven't heard from mike yet. i kind of feel like it will work out since we've played with them before and that they're our friends and all but i can't help feel a bit anxious until it's firmed up and i know it's going to happen. we really fucked up last year not getting to fit the acoustic show in- i was really bummed about that. i guess it's probably better not to do it every year in reality. i'm going to try to get more string players for this one to play for about half of it. if that doesn't work it's not the end of the world.
anyway, the battery is getting low and i'll just ramble on anyway and i can't seem to get an outlet at this coffee shop to save my life. i think it's time to get a new computer. i think i'm just going to have to pay for it myself and have to do the apple payments on it- they can be as low as $24 a month. why not? we can't go on like this and the last two laptops have belonged to stefanie, it would be nice to have gotten one that belongs to me. they definitely have more memory space than this dinosaur- 120 gb is the lowest storage that the bottom of the line one has.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
not much time, but...
... the trip to kansas city was a success. we got seven of the eight songs recorded and all of them turned out quite nicely. the sounds were really great- best cello tones i've recorded- and i figured out ways to solve the problem of bleed that has made itself known. unfortunately it was pounded home to me that i need to have chris redo a violin part because his part on 'glasslands' is a bit out of tune at the beginning to a noticeable degree and there is far too much bleed from the guide guitar track that i played along with him. you can hear it even with everything else blaring on the track and it really detracts from it. we basically got the ball rolling for the 'all hope is blind' album- billy added two cello parts for each of six songs that have been started because they don't require the live treatment- for this album we are going to play the songs that have drums live and do guitar and drums at the same time. i started the album trying to use click tracks, but very quickly we realised that the performances were a bit soulless and when the tracks are as stark as these tracks are there needs to be a strong organic base for them and the best way to do that would be to do the basic tracks live together. i've had to buy more microphones to meet this goal (i have about three or so still to go) as we also wanted to use nicer mics so that we don't have to do as much mixing to get the parts to sound their best. this experiment was kicked off by a version of 'narcoleptic' that i started with a click track and when i added the guitars i wasn't really that happy with them and stefanie had a lot of trouble playing along to the click track- she even told me she'd rather play along to just my guitar. even with that idea the track was missing so much that makes it so fantastic when we play it live, so that's how i arrived at my brilliant idea. so now i won't have to go back to kc to record with billy for quite a while because i have to work up more of the tracks that need strings- the album is kind of coming together in pieces and several of the songs haven't gotten much in the way of real serious attention- some of them are a bit fragmented and underdeveloped. if they aren't underdeveloped they don't have scores to go with them yet either.
of the seven that we did there's only one that i'm not 100% sure about. it definitely sounds a bit dissonant which i suspect stems from when i recorded the guitar part i probably didn't tune ahead of time because i got too caught up in the moment. it might be okay, but i'm just not sure. i should let it sit for a while i guess and try and finish it soon.
i'm getting a bit burned out. i still haven't really planned anything beyond 'all hope is blind' which is a bit strange because i usually at least have some groundwork laid for a few albums ahead and usually those are based around a few solid and complete songs and i still don't really have too many of those for anything beyond 'all hope is blind.' i have a few ideas of what kind of record i might try and make, but it's still so up in the air it seems a bit dangerous. i think it will be important for us to take our time with it and be a bit careful. i have that double album still in my head as a concept and i've been gathering up the demos for that- i think i have about 20 mixes or so of demos in various states of completion. that's the only future record that i have any kind of clear vision of in the future. i wanted about 50 songs for it as well and i think i've got about 35 at the moment.
there are other things too- i kind of thought i might do two eps in a row or a series of eps or something based around these really ornate, orchestral instrumentals i did back in 2000 and trying to work with stefanie to give them more structure and/or lyrics and stringing them together like 'low level owl.' i've been really into those two records. i can't seem to not listen to the set as a whole- i noticed that when i just had volume 1 i wasn't that impressed by it until i got the vinyl set and then listening to it that way has been incredibly enlightening. it's a record that i get on the brown line from work and ride all the way downtown and back through the loop just so i can have enough time to listen to the whole thing in one stretch because the flow of it is so beautifully constructed.
of the seven that we did there's only one that i'm not 100% sure about. it definitely sounds a bit dissonant which i suspect stems from when i recorded the guitar part i probably didn't tune ahead of time because i got too caught up in the moment. it might be okay, but i'm just not sure. i should let it sit for a while i guess and try and finish it soon.
i'm getting a bit burned out. i still haven't really planned anything beyond 'all hope is blind' which is a bit strange because i usually at least have some groundwork laid for a few albums ahead and usually those are based around a few solid and complete songs and i still don't really have too many of those for anything beyond 'all hope is blind.' i have a few ideas of what kind of record i might try and make, but it's still so up in the air it seems a bit dangerous. i think it will be important for us to take our time with it and be a bit careful. i have that double album still in my head as a concept and i've been gathering up the demos for that- i think i have about 20 mixes or so of demos in various states of completion. that's the only future record that i have any kind of clear vision of in the future. i wanted about 50 songs for it as well and i think i've got about 35 at the moment.
there are other things too- i kind of thought i might do two eps in a row or a series of eps or something based around these really ornate, orchestral instrumentals i did back in 2000 and trying to work with stefanie to give them more structure and/or lyrics and stringing them together like 'low level owl.' i've been really into those two records. i can't seem to not listen to the set as a whole- i noticed that when i just had volume 1 i wasn't that impressed by it until i got the vinyl set and then listening to it that way has been incredibly enlightening. it's a record that i get on the brown line from work and ride all the way downtown and back through the loop just so i can have enough time to listen to the whole thing in one stretch because the flow of it is so beautifully constructed.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
talking to the darkness
when i was 15 i did a monologue in my actor's studio class that got a ridiculous response. a friend of mine at the time told me about how he used to turn off the lights in his room and just sit in there and talk to anyone and no one in particular, just to say things that were bothering him out loud. i basically did the same thing in my actor's studio class- turned off all the lights and started talking. i had no idea what i said, but it got a really good response as i remember. it was probably incredibly revealing. there really wasn't too much to me back then- i was just discovering things about myself without realising it or putting much thought into it. i'm beginning to feel like i'm doing that with this blog.
i post on several message boards, but usually don't responded to too often. not a huge deal as who really wants to be an internet message board celebrity (you know what i'm talking about if you've ever been on one of these things), occasionally it's just nice to be acknowledged. i don't know- maybe not. on the other hand sometimes it's the best thing to be one of the people on those things who's ignored.
i got a cease and desist email through blogger from the dmca. basically i'm not 100% sure that it's a good idea to continue posting live recordings that i've taped here to share with people. i actually know for a fact that the bootlegs i've posted here have circulated beyond my little tiny circle- i once found a link posted on a message board that i had never been to or heard of. the idea behind posting the shows here was to share them and make them easy to access by people who troll for live recordings- the main reason being i'm one of those people. it's similar to the reasons i make music- i'm just trying to reach myself out there because i know that there must be some people (however few) who feel alone and alienated and totally out of sorts with pretty much everyone they come across in this life. so now i'm kind of bummed because of that new legislative internet copyright act gobbledygook blah-blah blah crappola has kind of pooped my party and my attempts to give back. that's why the first nick cave recording is gone. that's why the second night recording never popped up here (a shame as the second night was better than i thought and the recording turned out really well).
last night i went to see 'w.' before going to see it i had been wondering what the point was on oliver stone making a movie about george w. bush. it seemed kind of ridiculous- sure, oliver stone has made a career out of making politically heavy-handed movies about historical figures, but george w. is still in office- it seemed a little too soon and that there would be a lack of objectivity due to how close the workings of the bush white house still are. in high school an english teacher of mine (who was really terrible and irritating as a teacher- this is the only profound thing i think i heard her say while she was my teacher) said that when you're writing about something it's important that you write about something when it's all in the past because if you're still in the midst of it you won't really have enough distance to look at it clearly and objectively enough to write about it with any kind of direction, clear intent or purpose and it will come out completely incoherent. i didn't listen to her and wrote a train-wreck of a paper about what was going on in my life at that time. it was really bad- the only paper i've ever gotten a c on. lesson learned. what i'm getting at here is that i thought that oliver stone was making the same mistake by making his 'w.' movie. then i went and saw it. i have to say that i was really impressed with it- as a whole it really wasn't what i was expecting at all especially from oliver stone. i thought it would be built around that whole conspiracy theory that the bush administration orchestrated and faked the 9/11 attacks, but it wasn't at all. for anyone who hasn't seen it i recommend watching the trailer- that actually is the best indicator of what the movie's about. the movie is very sympathetic with george w. bush as a person. basically it depicts him as a directionless little boy who's incredibly gung ho to do... something. the tack it takes is that because of his connections and his family and his relatability by average joes he was used by a group of people with some very unwholesome intentions and aspirations- duped into doing something and manipulated by people much smarter than him because he seemed to lack the foresight to see a disaster before it arrives. jeffrey wright as colin powell was pretty awesome- the only voice of reason in the whole thing. i hate to cast the whole thing as being completely true because i feel that the truth is sort this mythical long extinct creature that you grew up hearing about but that never really shows up anywhere because even if it did exist at some point it's been gone for so long no one's actually seen it sitting right in front of them- kind of like the dodo or fucking unicorns. i kind of thought that the film could be used as support for this idea. we live in fucking terrifying times right now. my god.
i can't remember what day nov. 4th is but i believe that it's a day that i have to work. if the polls open early enough i'd really like to go cast my vote before going to work- but that would put it somewhere in the 6am mark and i severely doubt that.
stefanie's parents are now officially in town. this is my only day off this week- i have to go back into work tomorrow for a five-day week. on wednesday night i leave to come to kansas city for some recording and then come back on friday night and go straight to work from the megabus right into another 6-day week. i was so wiped out from yesterday- it was quite a long day.
stefanie is probably waiting for me though and i should try and meet up with them soon. i've probably missed lunch already- they always eat so early. we were supposed to go to hot doug's today, but they are closed for vacation. i'm personally very relieved- i was supposed to reserve an igo car and go pick them up at 10:30am. i woke up at 10 today and i was not ready to get going by then.
i guess all of these busy times will help get us closer to christmas time- hopefully a relaxing visit (haw haw haw). it's going to be a quick one. the record bar offered us a show on the 29th, but sadly that is the day that we will be leaving town. i was even going to check flight info to see if it would be plausible to change our flight so we could do it- i do love playing at that place. i guess we'll just keep trying.
that's pretty much that for now.
i post on several message boards, but usually don't responded to too often. not a huge deal as who really wants to be an internet message board celebrity (you know what i'm talking about if you've ever been on one of these things), occasionally it's just nice to be acknowledged. i don't know- maybe not. on the other hand sometimes it's the best thing to be one of the people on those things who's ignored.
i got a cease and desist email through blogger from the dmca. basically i'm not 100% sure that it's a good idea to continue posting live recordings that i've taped here to share with people. i actually know for a fact that the bootlegs i've posted here have circulated beyond my little tiny circle- i once found a link posted on a message board that i had never been to or heard of. the idea behind posting the shows here was to share them and make them easy to access by people who troll for live recordings- the main reason being i'm one of those people. it's similar to the reasons i make music- i'm just trying to reach myself out there because i know that there must be some people (however few) who feel alone and alienated and totally out of sorts with pretty much everyone they come across in this life. so now i'm kind of bummed because of that new legislative internet copyright act gobbledygook blah-blah blah crappola has kind of pooped my party and my attempts to give back. that's why the first nick cave recording is gone. that's why the second night recording never popped up here (a shame as the second night was better than i thought and the recording turned out really well).
last night i went to see 'w.' before going to see it i had been wondering what the point was on oliver stone making a movie about george w. bush. it seemed kind of ridiculous- sure, oliver stone has made a career out of making politically heavy-handed movies about historical figures, but george w. is still in office- it seemed a little too soon and that there would be a lack of objectivity due to how close the workings of the bush white house still are. in high school an english teacher of mine (who was really terrible and irritating as a teacher- this is the only profound thing i think i heard her say while she was my teacher) said that when you're writing about something it's important that you write about something when it's all in the past because if you're still in the midst of it you won't really have enough distance to look at it clearly and objectively enough to write about it with any kind of direction, clear intent or purpose and it will come out completely incoherent. i didn't listen to her and wrote a train-wreck of a paper about what was going on in my life at that time. it was really bad- the only paper i've ever gotten a c on. lesson learned. what i'm getting at here is that i thought that oliver stone was making the same mistake by making his 'w.' movie. then i went and saw it. i have to say that i was really impressed with it- as a whole it really wasn't what i was expecting at all especially from oliver stone. i thought it would be built around that whole conspiracy theory that the bush administration orchestrated and faked the 9/11 attacks, but it wasn't at all. for anyone who hasn't seen it i recommend watching the trailer- that actually is the best indicator of what the movie's about. the movie is very sympathetic with george w. bush as a person. basically it depicts him as a directionless little boy who's incredibly gung ho to do... something. the tack it takes is that because of his connections and his family and his relatability by average joes he was used by a group of people with some very unwholesome intentions and aspirations- duped into doing something and manipulated by people much smarter than him because he seemed to lack the foresight to see a disaster before it arrives. jeffrey wright as colin powell was pretty awesome- the only voice of reason in the whole thing. i hate to cast the whole thing as being completely true because i feel that the truth is sort this mythical long extinct creature that you grew up hearing about but that never really shows up anywhere because even if it did exist at some point it's been gone for so long no one's actually seen it sitting right in front of them- kind of like the dodo or fucking unicorns. i kind of thought that the film could be used as support for this idea. we live in fucking terrifying times right now. my god.
i can't remember what day nov. 4th is but i believe that it's a day that i have to work. if the polls open early enough i'd really like to go cast my vote before going to work- but that would put it somewhere in the 6am mark and i severely doubt that.
stefanie's parents are now officially in town. this is my only day off this week- i have to go back into work tomorrow for a five-day week. on wednesday night i leave to come to kansas city for some recording and then come back on friday night and go straight to work from the megabus right into another 6-day week. i was so wiped out from yesterday- it was quite a long day.
stefanie is probably waiting for me though and i should try and meet up with them soon. i've probably missed lunch already- they always eat so early. we were supposed to go to hot doug's today, but they are closed for vacation. i'm personally very relieved- i was supposed to reserve an igo car and go pick them up at 10:30am. i woke up at 10 today and i was not ready to get going by then.
i guess all of these busy times will help get us closer to christmas time- hopefully a relaxing visit (haw haw haw). it's going to be a quick one. the record bar offered us a show on the 29th, but sadly that is the day that we will be leaving town. i was even going to check flight info to see if it would be plausible to change our flight so we could do it- i do love playing at that place. i guess we'll just keep trying.
that's pretty much that for now.
Friday, October 17, 2008
i just don't know what to do with myself
i got too much done yesterday. now i have nothing to do today. i guess i should be glad. i always do this though- try my hardest to not have jack shit to do on my days and then what happens- i get bored within thirty seconds. maybe i'll have time to watch a movie then. that'd be nice. that's kind of a rarity these days.
i bought another mic yesterday. it was horrible- you know how when you buy an item and you're finishing paying for it through ebay and they have those little displays of other items you might enjoy? yeah, it was in one of those. a great deal on a bass drum mic- i just couldn't pass it up- it was what i always hoped for but never seems to happen on ebay- an item at a reasonable buy it now price. it was $130 for a $220 mic. two down at least three more to go. i guess there really shouldn't be too much of a rush- i probably won't be able to get to kc to do more recording until march or so.
writing in this thing makes me feel like i'm getting more and more boring as the years go by. a lot of what i used to be so preoccupied with i haven't had to worry about for almost 10 years now. namely girls. i used to do tons of agonising over girls that i liked and since i haven't had to in a long time i have nothing else to think about but music and recording and it is making me boring to about everyone else i meet. at work for some reason i seem to be witty and quick. i guess it just takes all of that side of me away from me. it's a shame i can't save a little bit for this blog. i have a feeling no one really reads it and anyone who does come here comes here for the bootleg downloads. i have no qualms about that. mostly this is a way to keep my friends updated on what's on my mind when they are so inclined to keep up. i have no problem with that at all.
i'm going to go back to the girl-craziness. the truth? i still have it. i still see good looking girls and get all gooey about it. i just keep it in check somehow. what i usually think to get myself out of being gooey or whatever is just to think 'i have a beautiful, awesome girl that i'm really ridiculously happy with who i share everything with and who accepts me whole-heartedly for who i am flaws and all and never at any point wanted to change me' and i figure that that is something that the minority of people my age have, and then i think of how if i were to ever date again what a horrible nightmare it would be and how i would be permanently locked in to being a pathetic little coward with no confidence and how NOT fun that would be. it isn't difficult to talk myself out of and keep a realistic view. what i've kind of found is that pretty girls are about a dime a dozen. when you have one that really loves you and accepts you then that's something that nearly no one in the world has. i get hit on a fair amount now too, which didn't happen before. i think it's because since i am in a stable relationship i have more confidence than when i did before i met stefanie and i radiate it more. a tip for single dudes- confidence is more important to ladies than looks. i don't mean cockiness. i mean confidence. there is a big difference. this makes sense to me now. i wish someone had told me this when i was younger. i'm sure someone did, but i was either too stupid or bull-headed to accept it. probably both actually. a moot point now. in an interesting way i was right all along- i figured that someone had to come along who would accept me for who i was and then it happened- i was just keeping my eye on the prize. stubbornness is often rewarded. at least that's my theory and the theory i've been operating under making music and releasing records for the last four years. wow, it's only been four years... that's a bit sobering... how have i managed to keep this going for that long?
i sometimes wish i could go back to writing stories and novels and all of that other stuff, but the more i try to do that i find that i'm not as satisfied with the results. the reason being that i'm not focused enough on it to really give it the time that it deserves. in another way i've been proven right in this area- writing is something you can always come back to, music is something that must be done immediately while i'm still young. i don't know why that is, but it is.
on to find more fares. megabus here i come.
i bought another mic yesterday. it was horrible- you know how when you buy an item and you're finishing paying for it through ebay and they have those little displays of other items you might enjoy? yeah, it was in one of those. a great deal on a bass drum mic- i just couldn't pass it up- it was what i always hoped for but never seems to happen on ebay- an item at a reasonable buy it now price. it was $130 for a $220 mic. two down at least three more to go. i guess there really shouldn't be too much of a rush- i probably won't be able to get to kc to do more recording until march or so.
writing in this thing makes me feel like i'm getting more and more boring as the years go by. a lot of what i used to be so preoccupied with i haven't had to worry about for almost 10 years now. namely girls. i used to do tons of agonising over girls that i liked and since i haven't had to in a long time i have nothing else to think about but music and recording and it is making me boring to about everyone else i meet. at work for some reason i seem to be witty and quick. i guess it just takes all of that side of me away from me. it's a shame i can't save a little bit for this blog. i have a feeling no one really reads it and anyone who does come here comes here for the bootleg downloads. i have no qualms about that. mostly this is a way to keep my friends updated on what's on my mind when they are so inclined to keep up. i have no problem with that at all.
i'm going to go back to the girl-craziness. the truth? i still have it. i still see good looking girls and get all gooey about it. i just keep it in check somehow. what i usually think to get myself out of being gooey or whatever is just to think 'i have a beautiful, awesome girl that i'm really ridiculously happy with who i share everything with and who accepts me whole-heartedly for who i am flaws and all and never at any point wanted to change me' and i figure that that is something that the minority of people my age have, and then i think of how if i were to ever date again what a horrible nightmare it would be and how i would be permanently locked in to being a pathetic little coward with no confidence and how NOT fun that would be. it isn't difficult to talk myself out of and keep a realistic view. what i've kind of found is that pretty girls are about a dime a dozen. when you have one that really loves you and accepts you then that's something that nearly no one in the world has. i get hit on a fair amount now too, which didn't happen before. i think it's because since i am in a stable relationship i have more confidence than when i did before i met stefanie and i radiate it more. a tip for single dudes- confidence is more important to ladies than looks. i don't mean cockiness. i mean confidence. there is a big difference. this makes sense to me now. i wish someone had told me this when i was younger. i'm sure someone did, but i was either too stupid or bull-headed to accept it. probably both actually. a moot point now. in an interesting way i was right all along- i figured that someone had to come along who would accept me for who i was and then it happened- i was just keeping my eye on the prize. stubbornness is often rewarded. at least that's my theory and the theory i've been operating under making music and releasing records for the last four years. wow, it's only been four years... that's a bit sobering... how have i managed to keep this going for that long?
i sometimes wish i could go back to writing stories and novels and all of that other stuff, but the more i try to do that i find that i'm not as satisfied with the results. the reason being that i'm not focused enough on it to really give it the time that it deserves. in another way i've been proven right in this area- writing is something you can always come back to, music is something that must be done immediately while i'm still young. i don't know why that is, but it is.
on to find more fares. megabus here i come.
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