that's how you sing amazing grace

i'm listening to the latest ref disc of 'down to sleep.' it's the same as the other one- it just has different fades, namely all of the tracks crossfade into each other and i had to remove a weird noise that my cd burner makes that made it onto the end of one of the tracks. rrrr.
i didn't realise that i hadn't updated since before we went to fort wayne. the show was really fantastic! we lagged a bit towards the middle only messing up one song really badly (it was 'crawl to you'- i couldn't hear stefanie playing the drums and then i got confused at the end and it sent the whole thing into a tailspin because neither of us could tell what the other was doing), but the rest was really fantastic. we played 'sloba' live for the first time and it fucking killed which is what we were expecting. it was loud, loud, loud and achieved the proper effect. at one point some drunk girl came over and was telling us 'it's too much! it's too much! the noise is too overwhelming!' and she got kind of upset at us because she was drunk and misheard everything we said to her and got defensive. what was really funny about it was how it totally didn't bother us at all. as i noticed that she was getting more and more upset i was like 'i'm sorry, we'll fix the problem.' at which point she got all apologetic and i was like 'it's okay, don't worry about it.' and then we didn't change anything at all and it was fine. everyone at the show who talked to us was like 'i'm sorry about that drunk girl harassing you- that was such bullshit' and we were like 'that happens to us a lot- it's not a big deal.' i'm beginning to think that if at least one person in the room doesn't beg us to turn it down a bit we aren't doing it right. all told i really liked that place- and the people were all super nice. i'd love to play there again. i had my doubts walking in- an effect that's been happening since after the elbo room debacle (you see, no one told us to turn it down at that show and it was a terrible show).
n-e-way we have another show on the 15th at ronny's- which is a place i've never been to. i emailed the mpshows goons and asked if they had anything for us at ronny's and mentioned something about how i noticed all of these bands that i liked were playing there- namely cains and ables (who we played with once way back in december of 2005) and they just offered us a slot on that show. kind of nice since i was thinking of going to see it since they expanded into a four piece and dave writes such amazing songs and i happened upon their myspace and it looks like they have a fresh batch of them coming out soon.
so that's excitering. now that the final master is finished i think that it might be time to start listing the electric piano on craigslist and looking for a free upright to buy.
it'd be nice to get the new record finished soon too. stefanie is really dragging her feet about doing her vocals for it- i can't quite figure out why. she also has a drum part to do, but again dragging her feet. i have about eight decent songs. one of them the lyrics aren't finished yet- i have one really great verse, but that's it. that song also needs a violin part written- it is a droning masterpiece if i do say so myself. it might be the slowest song we've ever written. it's 44bpm. mike told me that most metronome's don't go that low. hee hee!
apart from all of that i had my first serious summer depression episode a few days ago and it was mainly over the music selecting politics at my new job. everyone there is already sick of everything i select to listen. mainly will just seems to only be in the mood to listen to raucous loud shit or weird electronic elevator music and he's been dominating the airwaves there. i was playing the cure unplugged set that i have on my ipod when i was opening with liz because i figured he wouldn't be there to hear it and it's a very upbeat cure set and also acoustic so good for the morning time and then he showed up and the second it was over he switched it and we listened to shit he picked all day long. at one point he said something about sad bastard music and then he puts on 'kid a.' ah, these bohemian jobs. you've gotta love it. *vomits*
if you're still reading i'm going to elaborate on the causes and problems caused by this summer depression. i have met a handful of people in my life who suffer it as well (and silently as well). i get violently depressed during the summer months for a few reasons- 1) my allergies awaken as early as march, taper off until the dogwoods and other trees start to flower, go into overdrive towards mid-to-late may and usually stay at a level that can only be described as difficult and stressful to deal with until as late as mid-to-late june. that's a good four solid months of all-allergy action. i've tried every kind of allergy medication on the market, and several that are prescription only and the conclusion i've come to is that they will work moderately for one season and that's it. what can lessen the symptoms and make me semi-functional is tea with honey. tea geschwender used to sell a looseleaf stinging nettles tea that worked the best, but now it's gone and my stash hath run dry. i've been on pretty much nothing for the past week. it's fine for now (it helps to be busy at work and that at least distracts from it for a period of a few hours), but when the heat and humidity hits and the symptoms worsens it becomes extremely stressful to deal with. i try my best not to complain and rant and rave too much. i really do. usually now i'll only enlighten people on why i don't enjoy summer if they ask me about it. i try to keep it kind of lighthearted. so that's reason number 1. 2) when you experience seasonal affective disorder during the summertime you must suffer silently because everyone else is so happy that the warm weather is finally here that hearing you bitch and moan about how miserable you because of the heat ruins their enjoyment of it and poops their party. i say this half-sarcastically, but also fairly seriously. i get kind of bummed on rainy days sometimes because i love them so much but usually have to spend the day hearing people bitch and moan about how rainy and grey it is and how much they hate it when it rains. it doesn't ruin it for me, but i do find it a bit irritating. during the warmer days when i'm really feeling awful invariably everyone will come up to me going on about what a wonderful, beautiful day it is. since you're suffering silently and can't really find anyone to talk to about how last night you couldn't sleep because your eyes were bugging you to the point that you wanted to rip them out and your nose is so bone dry that you wake up in the middle of the night because you have rivers of blood coming out of your nostrils and since you're getting so sleep-deprived and constantly uncomfortable while everyone else is so happy you also start to feel incredibly isolated and freakish. this is where the suicidal feelings come in because it's a long time to feel isolated and freakish without getting suicidal. i try not to and i'm generally pretty clear headed about these things but there are moments when those thoughts pass through your head. what's more i've noticed that people don't like to hear depressing music when it's dreary outside, but while you'd think that the opposite is true it's not- they don't want to hear it when it's nice out either. they don't want to hear it period because evidently their lives are so happy that even the mention of sadness will ruin their little perfect world so you also can't listen to depressing music when it's nice out because that will ruin their 'nice day.' for me i listen to 'sad bastard music' mostly because i feel incredibly isolated in the world and intrinsically different and out of step with about 99% of people that i meet (all bohemians included) so i tend to listen to a lot of sad music because being isolated and different from most people makes you feel like there's something wrong with you. sad music usually is often an ally waving a flag for a fellow isolated person to see. you listen to it and it reminds that even though you hardly ever meet anyone else who understands you someone out there is right there with you and it's invaluably comforting. if i listen to too much happy music it begins to drive me insane. songs like 'fire and rain' by james taylor make me equally insane because that is an artificial sad music song- a sadness that everyone feels (which is why it's so acceptable to people who normally can't stand to listen to sad music). to someone who's really isolated it seems incredibly trite and precious. it just doesn't cut the mustard. also people tend to lump slow music (even if it's loud) in with 'sad bastard music.' i also listen to a lot of loud, slow music- which is also enough to ruin a happy person's day.
so this is why i'm in such an awful mood because i now see that this will be my summer and all i can do is try to get through it. i will at least most likely write a slew of amazing songs (most of my music is written during the summer months).

there ain't nothing you can give me that i need to own

we need a chicago show folks! i'm not talking about these laid-back restrained affairs either, i'm talking about a place where we can turn it up and make some ears bleed. i feel like i'm going to explode right now. it's quite annoying. we are getting met with deafening indifference whenever i email anyone about playing anywhere. i hope that we can get some shit set up with one of the bands we're playing with tonight- they sound really good on myspace. i'm pretty keyed up at the moment. i don't really know or understand why. i'm anxious to get the tour booked because the sooner it's booked the sooner we know we're going for sure.
last night we both drank our sixth glass bottles. that shit fucks you up- i don't know if you've ever had one, dear reader, but i highly recommend them. it's a drunkenness that i've never really felt from anything else- kind of like how you feel when you drink a bunch of brass monkeys but less nauseous and even more mellow. it's a happy mellow glowing drunk. i almost wish that we could drink those before we play. not a full one, mind you. it's such a drag that someone has to drive home afterwards. this is the sixth glass brewed by boulevard in kansas city. it comes in a champagne-sized bottle and my dad bought me one when i went home once back in october and i drank the whole thing before i even noticed it was having an effect- it just creeps up on you because the beer is so smooth and tasty.
i haven't done much today- i did get stuck out in the downpour today. my jeans, shoes and socks are all still wet. i'm not going to change them. why bother? it's probably just going to rain more today. i found it real difficult to get a decent amount of sleep last night after drinking that sixth glass stuff. i went in to tuck stefanie in and evidently fell asleep within seconds because i woke up at 1:30am and had to get up and find things to do for a few hours before going back to sleep. then i woke up at 9:30 and just got up and got moving. it's taken me all day to get to the coffee shop (which is where i am now). i wanted to go to reckless to see if they had a few 7"es i'm looking for (the new nina nastasia one and the new spiritualized single) but i don't think i'll have time to now as i have to pick up the car at 4pm and then pack it up so we can get our asses down to fort wayne. so that's about the size of it. i hope the show goes well. we are armed with a new tear-the-place-to-pieces set ender. it's called 'sloba.' i'm so excited to play it for the first time.
anyway, i guess i should get moving then, or at least end this entry.
oh yeah, btw- the new mastered version of the 'down to sleep' album is up on our website. the links in the entry down below will work as well as they were overwritten when i uploaded everything. otherwise-
click here
or go here-
http://cllct.com/release/downtosleep

'to the sky'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEYXVsW-P4s

download (ipod format)

a chain of dandelions

the next record is nagging me to get going on it. half of it is already in the can, really, but this morning i woke up and all i could think about was getting it going. i have a new song called 'voices in the air' that i am planning on getting started today.
on another note i have to go home next week for my aunt jeanne's funeral. i need to buy my bus ticket. i think i'm going to go down on thursday night and come back over saturday night so i can work on sunday. it's going to cost about $100, but i really feel like i should go- the last few relatives that had passed away my parents have told me they don't see any reason for me to travel for the funerals. when my grandfather died (my mom's dad) my mom said that since i hardly knew him at all and that there wasn't really going to be a service (they were just going to take his ashes somewhere where he wanted them scattered) that i didn't really need to be there for it, but since we saw my aunt jeanne a lot i feel like i want to be there for the service. we shared a birthday and she was a really nice lady. we used to paint easter eggs in her basement every year with her grandchildren (who are all older than me and lauren). i'm also thinking of the next record because, naturally, i was thinking of getting some of the cello parts recorded if billy's up for it and then that way i could not do any recording when i'm back again in may. that would be really nice and it would make the time over my birthday a bit less frenzied, at least for me. i'm going to give billy a call today to see what he'd prefer to do. i think that if i work things right it would be about five parts i'd need him to do- about three of them ones that he would be free to make up himself. having chris to work with helps as well to give me more flexibility working with billy. some prewritten parts that i would normally give to billy i can have chris play since he plays the viola so if those don't get done by billy i can always have chris play them.
as far as how other things are going, they are fairly good as far as i know. i'm anxious to see my paycheck for the last two weeks- which i'll get tomorrow. it was my first pay period working the five day schedule i'm currently working. i clocked in almost 80 hours- which was more than i expected and this means that i might get a paycheck that will pay all of my bills for the beginning of may- the rent, car insurance, health insurance and some igo bills. if it's large enough to cover those bills (that is my difficult period during the month) then i can pay more money to my credit cards. it also makes it easier to save some of my tips and i can still do enough fun things with the rest of my tips. the goal is to get my debt under control and then when it's paid (in about two years or so) i will have a ridiculous amount of financial flexibility and it will make it easier to build a studio or take stefanie to europe- two things i've been trying to do since about 2005 or so. not to mention it'll make it easier for us to go on tour.
speaking of touring i finally sent out the fliers to the colleges. we finally printed them up and stefanie is going to drop them in the mailbox to go out today. i am really keeping my fingers crossed for these- even if only one of them works out it will really help us make that happen. i do predict it is still going to be quite the financial undertaking. i haven't really looked into car rental deals- but from what i've heard renting by the week is cheaper than renting by the day. i'm trying to stay positive about it- it's a very scary prospect- it's going to require a lot of time off from work and it's going to be quite a feat to pull off- we are trying to get it so that we are playing every night until we get to seadrift and then portland. if the college shows don't work out i have places where i can try to get house shows, but the college shows really need to work out so that we can break even (or at least dramatically lessen the blow). house shows aren't paying for a two week tour where we have to rent a car and buy gas with prices as they are right now. i keep kicking myself that we sold the van, but driving around in that van on that lengthy of a tour would definitely cost just as much as renting a smaller car with better gas mileage. the ideal would be if we still had my old honda civic. even that would be a wild card as that car had a lot of problems as well, so really we aren't in that bad of a position. i wish it was ten years ago because doing a tour like this back then would've been a snap. 79 cents a gallon. it was real, folks.
this is really long again and just contains boring musings, so i will end it.

nice sian alice group video

this is from the tap room in lawrence the night after we saw them here at the empty bottle. they are fantastic live. hopefully they will come to the u.s. again soon (i'm not holding my breathe though).

i am weak

i downloaded the new spiritualized album early. shame on me. fortunately i really love it. i just listened to it again earlier today after i listened to the final mix for 'down to sleep.' there are a few things i'm not 100% sure of in the mix, but i can't really always tell what they are, but i do know that i am very happy with this final mix and i don't want to labor over it any more because to my ears it sounds wonderful, fresh and completely full of life. it also sounded amazing coming out of the car stereo speakers when i was driving the prius that is kept down the street (we are car share members). i fixed the two weak mixes too and finally got to listen to the whole thing without interruption today and the album is incredibly strong i feel. definitely the best thing we've done so far. i am very happy with it because it really does achieve pretty much everything i wanted it to achieve- especially in the vein of the guitar sound and integrating the strings and more real drums into our sound. i am quite happy with the drum sounds that i got- they were closer to the sounds i was chasing than i expected which is quite an accomplishment considering how little i had to achieve those sounds. they certainly are their own thing and they don't sound bad at all.
back to the new spiritualized album though- i really love it. it's a unique album in the spiritualized/spacemen 3 continuum. i am always amazed at the internet furor that is currently surrounding it. i must confess that i really don't get it- they've really managed to push their sound in a new and wonderful direction that is wildly unexpected. that is saying quite a bit as most spiritualized albums are not without their hallmarks. ironic as well- i think that people thought that 'amazing grace' wasn't enough of a departure (which i don't think is necessarily that true either- but i am a big fan of that album) and now people are upset and up in arms because 'songs in a&e' doesn't return to the sound of 'lazer guided melodies' or 'pure phase.' what i'm struck most by on this record is how all of the songs hold up on their own. even songs that i considered 'weak' at first begin to reveal more to them with repeated listens and it is the first spiritualized album to feature a wide array of incredibly tight, compact and economic songwriting. 'ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space' is a good reference point in this case- all of the songs (the instrumentals aren't what i mean in this statement) on it are incredibly strong, but they are less compact- there are only a few songs on it that clock in at under four minutes. the title track is the most economic and compact in that regard. i wouldn't say that 'songs in a&e' is as good as 'ladies and gentlmen...' it will probably always be the best spiritualized album. it's also nice that they've gotten kind of bold and not put long repetitive instrumentals on the new album. as much as i love 'electric mainline' and 'the power and the glory' etc. i am impressed that they have attempted to not fall back on that kind of thing on this record. hats off. the only other album in their catalogue to rely solely on song songs is 'let it come down' and there are a few fairly weak ones on there that don't quite accomplish what they set out to accomplish, which is a shame because if all of the songs on that album did accomplish what they are supposed to that album would be an unstoppable phenomena. i still like it quite a bit, though. i don't listen to it that much, i must confess, but when i do i like it still. i thought that the stronger songs on 'let it come down' were really revealed during the acoustic mainlines performances- 'anything more,' 'stop your crying' and 'the straight and narrow.' even 'let it come down' doesn't have as many songs that are so to the point. one is incredibly long and repetitive and another is a rehash of an old spacemen 3 song. 'songs in a&e' is squarely forward-looking. it'll be really interesting to see what kind of precedent it places for future spiritualized albums (who knows how many more there will be). i just really love it- it's such a unique album and i'm so impressed that they were able to get so many new hallmarks into their sound and really flip the finger at the naysayers who believe that they are a one-trick pony (i'm looking at you andrew earles- you deserve a spanking). my expectations were pretty high after hearing most of the new songs in the acoustic mainlines format. i particularly love the album version of 'baby i'm just a fool'- it's so completely different to what i imagined and so full of creativity and inspiration. wonderful!

the album is now done!

whoohoo! i can't believe it. so quickly too. i didn't feel like doing anything today, but got a little inspiration going and finished 'ahn' with a new guitar part that i made up as i went along. by the third take i finished the part while it was being recorded. awesome! stefanie's drum part for the song was okay as well- i'd thought that she needed to redo it and we were going to do that tomorrow after practise and neither of us were looking forward to it, but voila! it's done! i did not finish all 24 songs (yet), but i plan on keeping the work going on them. but i am about 99.9% positive that this will be the final tracklisting- not a dud in the bunch. the song titles are links as well, so you can listen to these initial mixes that i am very happy with so far, so they may end up being final mixes in which case they will be mixed down to dat and then cdr to be sent away to be mastered at magneto as always. please listen and give some feedback-

the sun is so bright...
don't go
to the sky
crawl to you
you turn down
angels floating on the head of a pin
sloba
ahn
down to sleep
so goodbye...