more video

close to half done with all 11 tracks from 'all hope is blind.' 2nd version of 'christmas song, pt. iii.'
http://www.vimeo.com/17927570

shalloboi- christmas song, pt. iii (v2) from shalloboi on Vimeo.

'let's try to forget...'

the drama at work continues. the shadowy figure of past entries turned out to be undermining me in bigger and worse ways than i had previously thought and actually almost managed to get me fired some time back merely for being negative. the irony of this is that my manager (who i butt heads with all the time and complain about endlessly) was my only defender in this case and managed to convince the power that would be (who i've never trusted and have had a lot of misgivings about since he took over) that i didn't deserve to be fired for being negative since he said that he's never seen me get even remotely irate with a single customer in the nearly three years i've been working there (which is actually completely true). i probably shouldn't've found out about this, but i'm glad that i did because now i know who i can trust and who i can't. the silver lining is also that i've seen how fiercely loyal my true friends are- something i have a tendency to forget and overlook. i'm always surprised at how loyal people are to me and i find it very humbling and heartening. for as shitty as some people can be for no reason (not sure who i mean in this particular situation) others will respond in the best of ways. it's reassuring to know that people care. one of my greatest downfalls is that i forget this constantly in my narcissism. i'd suppose one of my strengths is that, despite my self-absorption, i am able to recognize positive things in others. i have a tendency to think the worst of people and the opposite is true more often than not.
i'm trying to put a more positive pro-active spin on this year. our cat robin is becoming one of my heroes- he is getting better and better behaved about his sub-q treatments and seems to show an amazing ability and understanding of the situation. he doesn't even seem to hold it against us for doing these treatments and seems to understand that they are making him feel healthy and he is probably healthier now than he's been for quite some time. i hope this trend continues, but i suspect that it should as with all of the sites that we've been reading about cats with crf it seems that they are often smart enough to grasp that the treatments do them good and are capable of relaxing during their treatments despite the fact that they are uncomfortable. it also appears that it's not going to be as expensive as we'd previously thought. i hope he hangs on for years and not months.
on the show-obtaining front i'm going to try to keep up hope. i'm also going to start working on more music to hopefully sell as stock music for films, tv, video games, etc. i've been reading up on that stuff and i think it's finally time for me to get going on giving this a fair shake. what could it hurt and maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. why not give it a shot?

'ride the streets into the dawn...'

haven't written a personal entry in a while. our cat, robin, has been in and out of the vet a lot in the last few weeks because he has feline chronic renal failure, which is basically a terminal disease. we are giving him sub-q treatments for it (we just did the second one last night) in order to delay the onset, but really all we can do is delay it. for how long, we don't know- months or maybe years. sub-q treatments basically means we have to hook him up to an iv to give him fluids that help his kidneys function properly. we also have to feed him some special food that's low in protein. it's kind of difficult to come to terms with since it's essentially fighting a losing battle, but we want him around for as long as he is happy to be around and therefore we will fight it until that is no longer the case. he's been acting mostly like his normal, sweet self again lately and seems to be doing better than he has in years (he's always had a dry skin problem- probably an early indicator of this problem). he isn't quite as active as he was before the episode that caused us to take him to the vet (he started puking a bunch one night, got really lethargic and quit grooming himself)- he used to gallop across the apartment back and forth and he doesn't do that anymore. i did catch him trying to sharpen his claws on the leather chair the other day, which he isn't allowed to do but i found encouraging nevertheless.
basically, in a nutshell, this year officially blows- the whole brandon bullshit, the shitty, depressing summer, all of this crap that's gone down at work, our friends' greyhound seth (who we used to housesit for and spend a lot of time with- we were very fond of him as he was a total sweetheart) passing away and now our cat getting crf. what's more stefanie and i are just now getting over a monstrous cold. the only silver linings have been the handful of amazing shows we've played this year (only four), my sister's wedding and claire's wedding- which were both really fun.
i've also gotten a lot of quality music recorded this year- i just went through a bit of a creative fit earlier in the month. i have several mixes of 'chinese blue' tracks, some of them finals, most of them still needing strings or vocals by stefanie. i'm going to still try to buy some calibration tape and get a bunch of stuff mastered and the 'christmas suite' single is still in play- i just started on a new version of 'christmas song, pt. iii' last night that's already coming along very nicely (i'm not too wild about the first version of it). everything's going to be alright, dammit! i'm really hoping that 2011 is better than 2010, but then i was also hoping that 2010 would be better than 2009 and we ended up getting monstrously sick right around new year's day while we were housesitting for jay and diana. i didn't get over it until february. who knows. but anyway, boo on this year. i'm glad it's almost over and i'm hoping christmas will be fun at least.

the long-awaited 'falling stars' video

finally finished it last week. being beyond broke was quite the motivating factor-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tohp9PGfTY

diary 11.17.10- just out of reach

1. blue moon revisited (song for elvis)- cowboy junkies- the trinity session
2. these arms of mine- otis redding- best of...
3. just out of reach (of my two open arms)- solomon burke- definitive soul collection
4. i can't reach you- the who- ...sell out
5. you're on my mind- the animals- inside looking out 7"
6. child of the moon- the rolling stones- jumpin' jack flash 7"
7. never, ever- brian jonestown massacre- acid 7"
8. nine million rainy days- the jesus & mary chain- darklands
9. rainwater cassette exchange- deerhunter- rainwater cassette exchange
10. the tangent- the warlocks- surgery
11. the last beat of my heart- siouxsie and the banshees- peepshow
12. tomorrow's taken- mojave 3- ask me tomorrow
13. place to be- nick drake- pink moon
14. while i shovel the snow- the walkmen- lisbon
15. the slide song- spiritualized- pure phase
16. to wish impossible things- the cure- show
17. shots and ladders- low- trust

haven't had a chance to listen to this one yet. i always think that i'm surrounded by songs of yearning, longing and intense emotion and yet it was kind of hard to find enough to fill this playlist. the old standbys came to the rescue, fortunately. i suppose that i'm doing a good job of contributing to songs of this ilk in my generation- there aren't a lot of pitchfork bands doing it. fucking slackers! now, to draw some attention to it... hrmmmm...